MADHOUSE || PJM

#19

i don't want to get out of my room. i wonder when jasmine will come
back, she's staying at a different room because it seems she can't stay with me all the time.

i have so much information to process, and for a strange reason, those different colored eyes keep on lingering in my mind.

yoongi..

i remember his smile, so full of confidence. he's very attractive, there's no point in denying it, but his behavior, the way in which he achieves things as if everything was a game for him, it makes me wonder what kind of person he really is.

"now i'm sure the killer is here. he must be having so much fun getting close to you, as you can't recognize him. do you have new friends, y/n? you should take care of yourself, he could be within them."

what if he's right? what if the killer is here, talking to me, being my friend knowing i'm not able to recognize him.

i close my eyes, taking a deep breath. why can't i remember anything?

it's so frustrating not being able to remember. i'm the only survivor in four family murders. i'm the only key to bring them justice and here i am, being useless.

for the first time, i let myself think openly about my parents, about the house in the woods and my mothers beautiful smile.

i try to do us in finding out the last thing i remember from the past few months.

moving out..

i remember the day we moved here very clearly. i was so excited because i'd have a new, bigger room. soon after we moved, there was a big snowfall. i remember us playing in the snow and making a big snowman.

silent tears fall down my cheeks, but u force myself to keep remembering.

i remember my mother, tugging me in bed although i was already grown up, and kissing me goodnight.

"i love you my beautiful princess."

"i love you too, mom."

i start sobbing without control. i have to keep going, i need to remember.

"from now on we'll only speak koran in this house, we need to get used to the language."

i squeeze my chest, i can't breathe.

i quickly stand up and walk around the room, trying to regain my breath and senses, but the air won't enter my lungs.

i fall to my knees, hyperventilating.
i can't breathe. i want to scream, but nothing..

in the distance, i hear the door to my room open and a pair of black boots appear in front of me, but my vision got blurry.

i'm going to die.

the person kneels in front of me.
"y/n."

his voice is so familiar, it makes me feel safe.
"i-i can't breathe.."

his hands hold my face.
"y/n look at me."

"i can't breathe!"
i scream, taking big puffs of air, feeling them getting stuck in my throat.

"y/n look at me."
his voice sounds more demanding this time and i obey. i lift my eyes to find those beautiful dark eyes that i love.
"you're fine.. you're having a panic attack, you'll be fine."

"no.. i-im going to die."

"you're not going to die, try to control your breathing."
the security in his eyes calms me a little, but it's not enough to stop my tormenting thoughts.

"i-i can't control it! i-i can't breathe!"
im getting dizzy.

jimin presses his lips tight.
"y/n, you're gonna pass out if you don't control your breathing, nothing will happen to you, you're just hyperventilating."
his words lose sense in my mind filled with anxious thoughts full of fear.

jimin curses under his breath, his thumb leaning my desperate tears, my vision turning black.

and then he leans towards me, his hand holding my face as he comes close. i feel his breath on my lips, mixing with my agitated respiration.

but my world stops when he presses his lips on mine. i stop breathing completely, my eyes wide open staring at his face, his lips feeling so warm and soft against mine.

he doesn't move, leaving his mouth just presses against my own.

my negative thoughts disappear, the surprise of jimin's action taking all my mind's attention.

he moves back and i finally breathe again, my shoulders moving up and down. his hand releases my face and our eyes meet.

i don't know what to say. my fingers come up to my lips. jimin kissed me.

my breathing returns to normal, but now my heart is beating the fastest i've ever felt it.

"why?"

"you needed distraction."

somehow that hurts me. he didn't do it because he wanted to, he did it just to stop my panic attack.

"are you okay?"

i lower my gaze, feeling embarrassed.
"yes, i think so."

jimin takes my chin, forcing me to look at him. his thumb tracing my lower lip.
"what happened to your lip?"

oh gosh.. i completely forgot about that.

i take his wrist, lowering his hand slowly.
"nothing."

he clenched his jaw, the muscles on his neck tensing.
"nothing?"

i shake my head, standing up and giving my back to jimin. i can't lie to his face.

he takes my arm and turns me back around, his eyes filled with rage.
"what happened to your lip, y/n?"

"i told you nothing happened."

"don't you dare lie to me."
he growls pushing me against the wall, I've never seen him this angry.
"who did that to you? yoongi?"

i furrow my eyebrows.
"how do you-"
i stop, feeling stupid. i just admitted it.

jimin clenched his hands into fists against the wall behind me.
"you shouldn't have gotten so close to him, why didn't you follow the security measures?"

"i.."
i don't know what to say, he's really angry.

"or could it be that you like him?"
his voice is cold, hurtful.
"i never thought you'd go as far as to like a psychopath like him."

i hit his chest, trying to move him away.
"you're being an idiot right now, move."

he takes my wrists and pins them against the wall.
"don't get close to him ever again."

"you don't have the right to tell me what to do or not."

"is that what you think?"
he presses his body against mine, burying his face in my neck, his lips grazing my skin.
"no one else will have you y/n..
you're only mine."

his words send shivers all over my body. they scare me, but they excite me at the same time. what's wrong with me?

when he moves back, his dark eyes are filled with a glow and determination that leaves me breathless.

his breathing is so accelerated, just like mine. his eyes move slowly down to my lips, and i swallow hard, feeling my heart beating desperately.

in an instant, he takes my face and stomps his lips on mine. but this time, the kiss is nothing like the one from a few minutes ago.