MADHOUSE || PJM

#40

i can see my breath in the cold air leaving my mouth. i'm shaking, my feet burying in the snow with each step i take.

you need to run, y/n.

i don't dare to look back and run further into the forest. i hear steps behind me, haunting me. he's not rushed, he knows i have to escape.

the rocks and branches covered in snow make me trip again and again, until i fall on my hand and knees.

i take a long branch from the ground and i stand up, turning towards him.

"don't come any closer!"

he tilts his head.
"y/n."

my arms shake but i grip the branch firmly.
"please stop."

"no."
he takes a step towards me and i attack him with the branch, when he takes it in the air and snatches it from my hands.
he pushes me, making me fall on my back and quickly moves on top of me.
i scream as loud as i can, but it doesn't seem to bother him.

"let me go!!"

he takes my wrist and pins them over my head with one hand.
"shhh, y/n."

his free hand moves down to my knee, where my dress ends and starts moving up my leg, caressing my thigh inside the dress.

no, no, no..

his hand touches me against my will reminds me of something i blocked in my mind, of something i don't want to remember.
"no! please stop!"

what is it that i don't want to remember? why is this situation so familiar to me?

his fingers reach my underwear and i feel sick.

i wake up in a jump, nauseas revolving my stomach. i stand up and run to the toilet, vomiting everything from the night before.

sweat runs down my forehead, a striking pain in my head making me groan. i hold my chest, thick tears running down my face.

what is going on? i remember the man in my dream, making me vomit again. and then i feel a warm hand holding my hair, and the other caressing my back gently.

i want to push him away but i have no strength to do so.
"breathe."
his voice is so soft.
"one breath at a time."

i do as he says, filling my lungs with air and calming down slowly. he helps me stand up and walk to the sink, where i wash my face and mouth.

i can see him through the mirror's reflection, his eyes observing each of my movements with concern.
"you had a nightmare?"

i finally push him away from me.
"yes, i dreamed about you."
i say turning to him.
"i remember what you did to me in the forest, how you.."
i pause, controlling my nauseas.
"you.. you disgust me."

"there are so many things you don't know about, sweetheart."

"don't call me that! i'm not your sweetheart nor your red princess!"
my head is still pounding. i walk past him and sit on the bed. he follows me, standing in front of me.

"what do you want for breakfast?"
he asks with an enthusiasm that leaves me breathless, he's crazy.

"i'm not hungry."

"you have to eat, especially after vomiting so much."

if i didn't know him, i'd say he sounds genuinely worried.
he crouched in front of me and unlocks the chain around my ankle.
"let's go."