Miles Hoàng's life is perfect.
He has the perfect best-friend-slash-boyfriend-slash-bane-of-his-existence, Ziri Meziani. They live in a perfect (if a little cramped) apartment above a Nepalese restaurant they get food from at a discount whenever the...
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I JUST WANT YOU TO LIKE ME
Miles Hoàng's life is perfect.
He has the perfect best-friend-slash-boyfriend-slash-bane-of-his-existence, Ziri Meziani. They live in a perfect (if a little cramped) apartment above a Nepalese restaurant they get food from at a discount whenever they're both too lazy to cook. He has a perfect (meaning decent) job with a nice (meaning decent) boss and cool (meaning decent) coworkers at an Amazon warehouse — which means he has to listen to people's complaints about their deliveries being late every time he bothers to socialise as if that's something he has any control over.
And sure, his family still think being gay is a phase he'll grow out of. And he has to listen to debates about how queer marriage will irrevocably destroy British society every time he tries to watch the news. And panic attacks start pouncing on him without warning when he's supposed to be the normal one.
But otherwise, his life is perfect.
Miles has compartmentalised his mind with an efficiency his recovering-hoarder-become-neat-freak mother would be proud of. If somebody were to walk into his mind, they would find a clean house full of natural sunlight and not much else. His grandparents are in one room, his dad's coffin in another, his mother asleep in the third. Even Ziri — especially Ziri — is quarantined from the rest because sometimes there are roars in the basement no amount of music can cover up and Miles has no plan of inviting anyone down those stairs.
Until he crams the basement so full that demons start climbing out. Turns out, the walls between his compartments are paper mache.
HERE'S THE HOUSE WITH CHILDHOOD WHITTLED DOWN TO A RED TRIP WIRE / DON'T WORRY. JUST CALL IT HORIZON & YOU'LL NEVER REACH IT
ocean vuong, someday I'll love ocean vuong
EVERYONE ELSE SLIPS AWAY AND THERE IS JUST YOU AND ME / AND THE ORANGE
liIiths, peeling
SOUNDTRACK [spotify link in bio]
DISC 1: BZ(life before ziri)
01. boys don't cry the cure — 02. disarm the smashing pumpkins — 03. landslide fleetwood mac — 04. romulus sufjan stevens — 05. she lays down the 1975 — 06. beware of the dogs stella donnelly — 07. we'll never have sex leith ross — 08. candles daughter — 09. baby can I hold you tracy chapman — 10. last words for a shooting star mitski
DISC 2: AZ(life after ziri)
11. lemon boy cavetown — 12. wasteland, baby! hozier — 13. I exist I exist I exist flatsound — 14. your light the big moon — 15. even the nights are better air supply — 16. there is a light that never goes out the smiths — 17. trouble me 10,000 maniacs — 18. our song the xx — 19. love in the time of socialism yellow house — 20. lover taylor swift
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CONTENT WARNINGS: grooming, predation, and rape in backstory (not the main relationship!), parentification, emotional abuse, PTSD episodes and panic attacks, as well as occasions of homophobia, racism, and victim blaming, and allusions to/mentions of war, attempted suicide, and self-harm.
This story is rated mature.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hey hey <3 Thank you for checking out this story. The vibe:
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If you see typos, please point them out so I can fix them (unless they're in dialogue because they're probably intentional). Any terms people may not understand will have translations/explanations in the in-line comments! I am writing outside of my own experiences here so if anything is inaccurate or offensive, feel free to correct me so I can change it.
This story is a spin-off sequel to I Was Just Trying To Be Funny. You can read them as stand-alone or in reverse order perfectly well, whatever you like. This is set in 2013, which is the year that gay marriage was legalised in the UK.
Hope you enjoy! Thank you for reading <3
All rights reserved. All the characters belong to mygoodbones on wattpad. This story is posted exclusively on wattpad; if you are reading it somewhere else, it is without the consent of the author. Any unauthorised use of this material is prohibited under copyright law. Any use of this work to train generative artificial intelligence (AI) technologies is expressly prohibited.
Written: 24 Jan 2023–24 Oct 2023 Wordcount: 82,319
