I JUST WANT YOU TO LIKE ME | ✓

▬ 17: threadbare

            Both Iris and Chloe have mascara smeared under their eyes as they miserably eat their chips. I sit opposite them in the booth, rotating my paper cup of coffee. I didn't expect McDonald's to be so full past three in the morning but this is London so of course it is; we're lucky we even got a table.

Waking up at one-thirty on a Wednesday to Iris ringing me to pick her up from a party in London weren't how I'd imagined my night going, especially when I start work at seven and sleep were already cut short. I'm still staying at Má's; it takes me over an hour to get to the warehouse.

Once I deem that they've sobered enough to understand me, I sit up and start, 'When I said you should stay at Chloe's over GCSEs, I meant so you could study. Not so you could go to a party in a city you don't know nowt about with no way to get home with complete strangers.' With at least two dozen drunk people stuffed into it, the hubbub in this McDonald's is loud enough that I don't have to soften my frustration. 'Those people were my age, you're sixteen. What the fuck were you thinking?'

Too ashamed to look at me, Iris just shrugs. She swirls a chip around in ketchup.

Chloe drops her head into her hands and the ends of her ginger hair brush the drops of mayonnaise on her tray. 'I've failed all my exams.'

'You ain't–'

Her eyes screw into mine with such intense pleading that I cut myself off. 'You've done this before.' If the tremble in her voice is owt to judge by, she's about to start crying again. 'How do you even manage it?'

'Don't ask him for advice,' Iris interjects. 'He's stupid. He did actually fail all his exams.'

I don't bother to correct her. With my results, I might as well have failed and she's right — I don't have any advice to give. Between Má, Iris, and Dominic, I hardly thought about my GCSEs until I were sitting with the first exam in front of me.

With a sigh, I cushion my tone. 'Look, I'm not gonna sit here and say you can't drink, but you have to be careful. You have to eat first — properly. And drink water. And don't go to parties with strangers in strange cities with no way to get home. How'd you even get alcohol?'

'We asked some bloke to buy it for us.'

'Don't take alcohol from strange men.' It comes out angrier than I intended and I recoil, sinking over my paper cup of coffee that's quickly getting cold. I stare into the milky circle as if it's a fortune ball that can tell me the outcome of all my options. Unfortunately, it ain't and I have the judge for myself. 'I'll buy it for you.'

The shock sobers them up almost entirely. 'Seriously?'

'You're fucking paying for it. Also keep it reasonable, I ain't buying you absinthe.'

After a moment of silence, they understand that the lecture is over and Iris picks up her burger again. Chloe, who has already finished her Mayo Chicken, pushes her tray away, rests her head on the greasy table, and falls asleep.

'Chlo–'

'It's okay,' I interrupt. 'Just finish your food.'

Iris chews slowly, the cold grease difficult to swallow. 'Thanks for picking us up.' She grimaces. 'Sorry.'

'It's fine.' When Iris still looks guilty, I round my voice to a gentleness that's more convincing. 'I'm your brother. It's good that you phoned me, really.'

She nibbles on her double cheeseburger. Before I can do owt about it, she's wearing melancholy like a heavy cloak and as unbearable as it is in the heavy atmosphere, she can't take it off. Though I know at least half of it is the intoxication — she has reached the stage of Sad Drunk — it don't change that my heart aches like it's directly drinking in the pain from hers. I would gladly take it; it's the only thing I'm good at.