I JUST WANT YOU TO LIKE ME | ✓

▬ 05: talk for me

            'How much longer are you gonna be in there?'

Just when I think he's not heard me over the running shower, Ziri answers, 'Almost done.'

'It's been like forty minutes. I have to shower too.' No response. 'Are you having a wank?' I stride from the doorway and pull back the shower curtain to find him blowing soap bubbles through a circle he's made with his thumb and index finger. 'Ziri, we have reservations! Sonia's gonna kill us if we're late.'

He drops his jaw wide open. 'What if I was masturbating? And you just barged right in. Also, it's my birthday.'

'Aye, and xe's come all the way from Ireland to hang out with ya. Xe'll kill us if we're late.' Shaking his head, he blows a new soap bubble between his fingers. 'Ziri.'

'If you're in such a hurry, there's space here for you.' He gestures at the rest of the bathtub behind him.

'I'm not showering with you. Last time I tried to shower with you, I almost fainted.'

Ziri splashes water at me and I pretend to be burnt as if it's boiling. 'You're the one who showers like you're preparin to move to the frickin Arctic.' He groans, turning the temperature up out of spite. 'Fine. Give me two minutes. I have to wash the soap off.'

            We've eaten at the same Ghanaian restaurant for Ziri's four last birthdays. There are no Beninese restaurants in Brighton and at least it's West African and halal. "Same difference," Ziri says. Ziri don't tell his mum about it.

We arrive one minute late. Sonia and Amal are waiting for us in front of the restaurant, Sonia already frantically checking xyr phone for texts that we've cancelled whilst Amal leans against the brick wall beside the door, manipulating a star out of a loop of yarn and her fingers as she tries half-heartedly calm xyr down.

They met at uni. Amal did an exchange semester at Bath and because they're the most stereotypical lesbians on Earth, when she went back to Ireland, Sonia decided to go with her even though they'd known each other for two months. Sonia's finishing xyr architecture studies at the local university in their middle-of-nowhere Irish town where they live some idealistic quasi-farm life. Because they're breathing lesbian stereotypes, Sonia crochets and Amal does gardening — not that you'd guess by looking at either of them.

Sonia's autism makes xyr averse to wearing owt woollen or knitted but xe spends all xyr time crocheting because xe enjoys the repetitive physical task. Which is why the rest of us have wardrobes overflowing with jumpers, cardigans, and socks. Not that I'd complain; they're all very comfortable. Xe's wearing a peach dress and pink trench coat that people might be offended by because xe's chubby and it don't "suit xyr body", which is nonsense because it suits xyr perfectly.

Amal is currently dressed in a plaid maxi skirt decorated with safety pins, black platform boots, and her studded black khimar. The wings of her eyeliner nearly reach the edge of the headscarf. She don't look like someone who could give an hour lecture about the various benefits of dandelions without requiring any preparation, but she could and probably will.

Both Ziri and I quicken our pace to reach them faster. We've not seen them since November. And I know we have Facebook and Skype and whatnot, but I just can't talk to people online — it's awkward.

Ekow greets us by name when we enter the restaurant. The staff know us well enough to let us eat in a small private room that were probably a storage closet at some point so that Sonia won't be overstimulated by the noise. Though I don't see how xe don't get overstimulated by Ziri and Amal in any room; they speak so fast that I can't even figure out what they're talking about.