A Piece Of His Heart

Forty-three

Waleed

I stared at the open box sitting on the table and fisted my hands, resisting the urge to throw it across the room. What had once been the memory of some of the most beautiful moments in my life had now become the cause for one of the worst.

I didn't expect you to do this to me.

She'd given me the most fragile thing she had and I broke it because I was a coward who couldn't man up and tell her. The image of her crying face had burned itself into my head, just as her words and sobs played over and over in my head like a broken record.

I should've told her myself. At least then we wouldn't be here in tatters with her somewhere I didn't know and me here... empty-handed.

Because what did I really have when I didn't have the one who made my home, heart and soul?

I exhaled in a shaky breath as I closed the box and carried it back to the closet, making it's space there. I remembered Eliza said she wanted to tell me something and had come to the closet to show me before... I searched for something, anything that looked important enough for her to fuss over it so much. But knowing her, she could've found a pretty shell and would be excited to show it to me.

That's how people with pure hearts are.

I couldn't help but laugh at that thought, the sound born from sorrow with a bitter aftertaste. My hand fell upon a... stick? I couldn't be sure as I pulled it out and froze, everything else slowing down in time.

A stick. No. A pregnancy test.

Eliza's positive pregnancy test.

I stumbled. Actually stumbled as I fell back on the bed and read the result in shock and disbelief. Shock and disbelief that were both absurd because it was completely possible. But... She was pregnant. My wife was going to be a mother, and I a father.

Even our baby would be disappointed in me for fucking up so royally.

A mix of emotions swirled through me at the news. There was a part of me that wanted to burst in joy, and another part of me that wanted to cry. She should've been here with me as we celebrated instead of somewhere I didn't know.

I didn't even know where my wife was. I was as worried for her life as I was for the life that hadn't even come to the world yet. Maybe more for Eliza. I closed my eyes and prayed for her safety. I might not be with her to protect her but He, my Allah, was always there.

To gather myself, I took a shower- a long one, and dressed up, putting no more effort than throwing on a shirt and pants.

I drove, not certain where to go, but somehow ended up outside my parents' home like it was a default setting. Maybe my heart was seeking the familiarity of Mama, or the shield of Dad.

With the ring of a bell, the door opened and a maid appeared, greeting me. I didn't even have to ask her where my mother was because she, too, appeared there suddenly, grinning from ear to ear.

A grin that fell as soon as she saw my hung head. I knew I looked miserable because I felt like it.

"Asalam Alaikum..." She spoke warily, her hand coming on my arm. I patted the back of it as I gave her a small smile.