The Nine Tailed Fox [Dazai x Reader]

A Fragment of Myself

[Dazai's POV]

"Kagura!"

I grabbed her wrist and pulled her towards me.

We were assigned another mission to assassinate another politician. It was just a normal job that could be handled perfectly, but Kagura was acting differently.

She seemed hazed, almost half-asleep. She was continuously hesitating as if she was waiting for something.

She was distracted, tripping on simple bumps in the ground and walking the wrong way.

"What are you doing?" I squeezed her arm. "Be careful."

She woke up from her trance.

"Sorry," she mumbled.

It was strange. She was usually never like this. Calculated and precise, she was the type to never make a mistake.

"You're going to blow our cover, Kagura chan," I told her. "Focus."

"Mhm."

"The opening is surrounded by guards. You go right and I'll go left."

"Mhm."

"Kagura."

She looked up.

"Let's go to my place after work," I whispered. "Okay?"

She didn't reply in words. She simply just nodded.

[Your POV]

My mind was slipping. Everything was slipping. 

My thoughts were clouded with what to do with Dazai. But the problem was that I didn't know what to do.

Do I stay with him?

Do I leave?

I was starting to realize that our relationship wasn't normal. He cared about me. He didn't lie when he told me that he loved me. But he was always in denial about my love for him. He was scared that I was going to abandon him.

I walked up the doorsteps of his apartment. I stared at the doorbell. I didn't want to ring it.

I lifted my hand. 

"Kagura chan," Dazai opened the door before I could even press on the doorbell. "Come inside."

"Sorry for the intrusion," I said, taking off my shoes and walking in.

---

We sat at the table; untouched food on the table and two glasses of wine- one full, one empty.

"Eat," Dazai smiled. "I'm sure you're starving."

"I've lost my appetite," I replied. "Eating after killing someone is the hardest."

"At least have a drink."

I picked up the glass of wine and put it up to my lips, hesitating before taking a sip.

"Kagura," Dazai said. "I'm not going to see anyone else anymore. You're the only one for me."

Those words taunted me. His lies chased me around like a cop running after a criminal. I bit my lip.

Had he forgotten? He said the same thing last time. 

"Why do you always do this?" I spoke, my voice empty. "Does this make you happy?"

He paused. "What should I do to make you believe me?"

"What?" I scoffed. "All you do is lie. All you do is test me like some lab rat until you're sure that I'm not going to leave you."

I put the glass down. 

He looked unaffected by my words. 

"I hope this makes you happy," I added. "I really hope it does because I don't feel happy at all. Do you even know that what you're doing is fucking me up?"

"I know," he finally said. "Are you going to leave me because of it? You already know that wherever you go, I'm going to follow you-"

 "One day I'm going to leave this hellhole," I snapped. "I'm going to stop doing all this dirty work and live a proper life. I'm going to leave you and this stupid relationship."

His expression said everything. He knew I could never escape.

I felt sick.

"You're a horrible person," I told him. "Do you think I don't know what you do with Akutagawa? I know you don't feel a single ounce of remorse for all the shit you do to him. Do you really think I can love someone like you?"

Dazai stood up from his seat and walked over to my side. He placed his hand on my shoulder with a cold expression on his face.

"You already do," he whispered. His voice was calm but I could tell he was serious. "[y/n], don't be ridiculous."

"Don't fucking call me that."

He gave me a light smile and kissed me on the cheek.

"What can you do?" he asked, running his fingers through my hair. "I have no intentions of ever letting you go."

Those words resonated with me.

I was helpless.

Author's Note

Guys I'm back after ten months of not posting. 

Vampire by Olivia Rodrigo has been hitting me real bad lately.

Pls don't hate me for the hiatus T^T