Prisoner #56

Chapter 2

That evening in the mess hall, I drove up to our table, dinner in tire. As I took my spot, I noticed it was just Ricky and Sebbie there. Marlin was nowhere to be found. That's odd, he is always here before me, as they let the prisoners on the upper levels of the block into the mess hall before anyone else. I'm on the bottom, so I'm always last. It kind of sucks. Anyway, I scanned the room, looking for him, until my eyes fell on a distant table, where the Pontiac was parked all alone.

I was ready to drive off to go grab Marlin, but a booming voice stopped me.

"Don't even bother, you've hurt him enough," Ricky said, narrowing his eyes at me.

I turned, and both Ricky and Sebbie were staring me down. It's how they used to look at me in those days before I became friends with Marlin. My eyes widened.

"You know?" I asked.

"Of course we do. Marlin told us. Leave him alone, he needs his space," Sebbie stated, coldly.

I stammered.

"I...I didn't mean to hurt him! I can't help that...I don't feel that way about men in general." I paused.

"Plus, I don't want to be with another prisoner just because they are lonely and need some physical attention. I've been fine by myself. I care about Marlin, but just not in...that way."

Ricky and Sebbie exchanged unamused glances.

"Look, I'm not going to speak on Marlin's behalf. He can tell you himself, but I can see why he hasn't said anything to you about this yet," Sebbie said sternly.

"About what?" I asked quizzically. Clearly, I'm missing something.

Sebbie rolled his eyes.

"Like I said, he can tell that story to you, when he's ready."

I looked off into the crowd of cars and saw Marlin parked alone again. He looked very upset. I sighed wearily, finally digging into my dinner, feeling more pathetic than ever.

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In my cell that night, I was finishing up a book, flipping to the last page. I read the end. Sighing, I closed the book and put it next to my sleeping pad. Some of the books in this prison are abysmal, let me tell you. Anyway, now that my shitty book was read and it was still early in the night, I stared up at my lines. As I stared, my mind began to spiral, now with nothing to distract it, with everything that happened between Marlin and me.

What did Sebbie mean that Marlin would tell me something when he was ready? What was he hiding? And here I thought I knew this guy pretty damn well. I mean, Marlin is my best friend. Why wouldn't he feel comfortable telling me something?

I held my pillow, anxiety starting to set in. I hurt my friend, I made him feel upset, I made him want to be alone. That isn't like Marlin, to be alone. I didn't mean to hurt him; I didn't want to. Yet, he asked something from me that I can't possibly provide him. I can't just decide to be gay, that's not how it works. I'm straight as hell and after getting raped, I want nothing to do with being physical with another man.

I sighed. My thoughts kept spinning, spinning, spinning. I needed something to distract myself before I derailed, pushing me into the territory of having a panic attack. I took in a deep breath and breathed out, just how Marlin had taught me.

Marlin. I just can't stop thinking about him, and how awkward I feel. I breathed out again, trying to concentrate on my lines.

Finally, my mind reached a moment of clarity. I knew what I could do to distract myself. It's what every bored prisoner does when there is literally nothing else to do, or if they are in need of any type of escape.

Masturbation.

I got up from my sleeping pad, driving over towards my toilet. I've gotten pretty used to doing this, it's like routine. I'm glad my anxiety-stricken mind at least didn't forget that. I put myself into position, my body hovering over the toilet as I took my tire and reached down for my dick.

As I began rubbing down there and my dick slowly started to pop out, I got a firm grip on it, starting to gently stroke it. My dick got hard in my grip, happy to be awakened. I was happy it was awakened too. I let out a stifled moan as I began to rub it, pleasure bubbling up inside me.

Now I will admit, my dick is nothing short of impressive. It's on the smaller side, a sad thing in recent years that has seen as little action as my tire. It might not be much, but I was able to get a wife with it, bang a few prostitutes when I was a free man. In fact, the last thing I fucked before coming to prison was not my wife, but a prostitute. Marcus paid for us to have some lovely ladies, allowing me and Blu Blaze to go on a bender the night before the Gas Guzzler Massacre. Get us all amped up. Despite that, we failed miserably anyway.

My dirty little mind went to when I banged that prostitute, how her ass bounced into my frame, how warm and constricted my dick felt in her pussy. I moaned at the thought, at that memory, the last time I would have sex. It's what has gotten me through times when I have felt lonely physically, because I sure as hell have felt that way. Yet, I'm ok with myself. I accepted years ago that, me, myself, and I was the only partner I would have.

As I thought about fucking that prostitute, my dirty mind started to wander, thinking of some equally naughty things. You see, the perverted mind is like a current. It flips, it turns, it goes any direction it wants to heighten that pleasurable feeling. Its wild if you let it be, and I always let my mind go, be free like I still wish I could be. As I stroked harder, my pervy thoughts going all over the place, I bit my lip, my breath quickening. I couldn't wait to feel that warmth and pleasure explode out of me. It was mounting, building, making my front bumper flush a dark pink, my body temperature rising. I moaned again, stroking harder and harder...

Suddenly, my pervy mind did a backflip, Marlin appearing in my thoughts. He was staring at me, giving me that warm smile of his.

That foreign feeling, the one I sometimes got when I looked at Marlin that I didn't quite understand, burst into a flame inside me. It became so strong in that moment that I yelped out, a little too loud. My eyes widened and I let out a gasp.

I came, my dick dispensing everything in me that I had. I let out load after load, gasping, the pleasure burning through every mechanical and physical part in me. It felt like forever, but when I finished, I was out of breath, dick pulsing with pleasure in my tire, a little bit of cum still dripping down from the tip.

I finally took my tire away from my pulsing dick as it began to soften. I took a winded breath as I backed up from my toilet, looking down into it.

I gasped, putting my tire over my mouth. The amount of cum in that toilet was the most I had ever seen myself make. The whole bowl was almost full of it. My face flushed as I stared, not sure what to think. My mind totally froze up. All I could do in that moment was reach for the handle, flush my load down, and watch it spin and disappear like it wasn't even there. From there I absentmindedly drove back to my sleeping pad, plopping down on it.

I'm confused as all hell.

That foreign feeling I felt when Marlin smiled, the one I never told him about...that's what it was this whole time? Some sort of attraction? I shook my hood. No, I'm straight, I'm straight. I've never had any interest in men my whole life. There's no way.

Yet, why did seeing Marlin's face in my wave of perverted thoughts make me climax? And unload that much cum? I took my tire and put it on my front bumper, holding it. I can't feel that way towards my friend, I would have told him I felt attracted to him when he asked about us being together. And yet, wasn't I hiding that feeling I felt, because I didn't truly understand what it was, until now?

I sighed, my thoughts spinning worse now than before. And I thought playing with myself would make me feel better. How stupid I was. I stared up at my lines again, wishing there was some way this would all go away, but I knew I couldn't make it go away.

My gut twisted. How was I going to face Marlin after this? Should I even tell him what happened? Hopefully, he would still want his space and leave me to be alone with my confused thoughts tomorrow. I really need time to think about this, what it all means. Finally, my running mind started to exhaust me, pulling me into sleep.