Outlaw

Chapter 44

Her P.O.V

Three weeks.

Three long grueling weeks was the amount of time he had been gone.

Each day I became more and more lost without him. It had taken me only a small amount of time to realize just how much he meant to me.

Day one had started off alright and I was happier then could be. By day seven I was dreading walking past his old room every morning.

Day fourteen had hit me particularly harder then all the previous ones.

As I had finally worked up the courage to open his door. And there it was in absolute shambles, his suitcase turned over with the clothing spread everywhere.

The drawer to his bedside table thrown across the room leaned against the wall. The evidence I had planted laid across the bed.

At that moment looking at the scene I had ran out and slammed the door.

The days following had consisted of what felt like a blackness around my heart. Up until today I couldn't force it out.

However something today had forced myself out of bed with the most energy I had, had in months.

Walking across the hall with confidence and busted through the door stopping dead in my tracks. Soon breaking into tears as I looked at the utter destruction I had caused because of my own vengeance.

Sliding down against the wall as I looked at the complete chaos that had been released on this room.

"Stop" I told myself "Stop this now and fix it Kennedy" I scolded myself.

Forcing myself up I examined the mess, first grabbing his suitcase and placing it outside the doorway.

Next went the drawer which I put back into its slot. Moving to the floor I picked up all his clothing. Placing it on the bed I began to fold it neatly.

Separating it into piles just like my mother had taught me as a little girl. Before walking over and grabbing his suitcase.

Placing them neatly in there before grabbing the other items that had fallen out. Then I zipped it and shoved it back into the closet.

Heading over to the bed I picked up its contents one by one. There was of course the items that I had used to send him away which I had pushed into a desperate area.

Moving on to pick up the picture he kept of a man with a defined jaw covered in scruff. With warm hazel eyes and gorgeous side swept ashy blonde hair. His lips placed firmly in the forehead of the toddler he held in his arms with the utmost care.

This was his father, the man that had left such a large hole in that poor boys heart. The man whose absence had sent him spiraling out of control.

Setting it down I placed it over with the pen and small notebook. Opening it all the pages were black. Until I had noticed the very back page had been torn out. For some reason the back page had been ripped from the binding.

I shook it off and placed everything inside of the drawer except for the drugs I had used against him. Before making the bed nicely and grabbing the drugs in hand.

Stepping back to look at my work I tripped over something. Catching myself before I fell over. Looking down to see it had just been the edge of the bed.

Looking back again as I saw something white next to the edge peeping just out from under the duvet. Lifting up the corner I reached for it and felt it was paper.

Clasping it in my hand I brought it close and un crumpled it. Looking at the wrinkled material to see it was laced with black squiggles.

Straightening it out the best I could I soon realized it was the page that had gone missing from that notebook.

Torn between what to do my curiously could not be contained and I decided I would read it.

Kennedy,
If you're reading this it means that I am gone, and to be frank the thought of that has my stomach turning like a fresh summer storm. But this has to be done as it's inevitable that I ruin everything I touch. Which kills me inside because I don't think I have ever touched something as perfect as you. Everything about you is as if I'm touching a damn angel. You are the purest most perfect piece of divine creation the lord has ever made. And I know that this may come of as fake to you as I'm sure your beautiful head is spinning right now. Because if my sorry ass is out of your life for good after all the chances you gave me then I fucked up bad this time. Well you can bet your ass that I'm kicking myself to this very moment that you're reading this about it. Kennedy you mean more then I would have thought any girl or any person for that matter could. You have helped me realize that loosing my daddy wasn't the end all be all. That life doesn't just stop when something bad happens. You taught me that no matter how bad the day before everyday is a good day. You have taught me how to gain that sense of humanity I had been lacking for so long back. Kennedy you are by far the finest teacher I have every encountered. With the way your soft sweet smile lightens even the darkest of days. Your sweet honey rich laugh that can make angels sing and the beautiful meaningful words that leave your precious lips. You have taught me to love and well Kennedy this may seem too soon but damn it I love you. I love you and everything you stand for and mean to me. And if you could find it in your large ever beating heart. I'd ask even if you can't love me to take that love and give it to the man that will. Kennedy I love you and I'm sorry for whatever I did to hurt you.
Love,
Cole.

"I love you too" I whispered into the empty space.