Courting

Chapter 21

(I think I have to end the story soon I am pushing it with the 2.5hr read time)

Ao'nung hardly slept that night, but during the few hours of rest he did get, he slept like the dead. When the morning light filtered into the marui, Ao'nung rose to find his parents talking quietly to each other across the room. He sat up, considering his next move. They didn't know of his love for Neteyam, other than the screaming he had done when Neteyam was brought back to Ronal's care. She hadn't tried to talk to him about it, hadn't confronted him in the days he sat at Neteyam's bedside, and Ao'nung didn't know if he was grateful or not. When his parents turned to him, Ronal asked

"What of Neteyam?" She seemed worried, as if Ao'nung's appearance signaled Neteyam's death. Rubbing sleep from his eyes, Ao'nung spoke

"He is sleeping, still." Ao'nung said firmly, and decided he may as well make his suggestion. "I have an idea, on how to heal him." 

Ronal looked to Tonowari and blinked meaningfully "What is it?" Ao'nung swallowed loudly and took a deep breath

"I think if I was to make tsaheylu with him, the connection would empower him enough to wake up, to push through whatever darkness holds him."  Ao'nung ignored the small flinching from his parents at the word tsaheylu.

"He wished to bond with you?" Tonowari asked, looking from his son to his wife.

"Well, we were courting each other, I wanted to court him, but he insisted we be equals." Ao'nung smiled at the memory of Neteyam's determined expression, refusing to be anything but equal to Ao'nung. "But we did not talk of bonding, no." He confessed

"Then how can you be sure this is what he wants?" Ao'nung's father asked. Ronal tilted her head slightly, patient for her son's answer. Ao'nung breathed deeply once more, contemplating his own answer

"I cannot. We were not on... good terms, before he was injured. Your warning," Ao'nung nodded at his father, who opened his mouth in protest "instilled the thought I was not feeling how I was, that it would pass. I even thought Neteyam would be better without me, and perhaps he would, but neither of us wanted to stop, to lose what we had." Ao'nung tensed, waiting for his father to deflect blame. It was Ronal however, who spoke next

"What was it, that you had?" She was looking at him with understanding dawning on her face, taking full comprehension of the situation.

"It was... nice," Ao'nung decided, pausing before continuing "we were comfortable together. He is a respectable warrior and a hard-worker." He added, trying to appease his father too. 
"I didn't know what it was originally, it bothered me. But then I realised, when he... kissed me-" Ao'nung choked slightly at the statement in front of his parents 
"He kissed me, and it felt like I was a fish who just discovered it was living out of water, and had been plunged into the deep ocean." Ao'nung sighed, not seeing the point in hiding anything.

"You believe he would want the bond as well?" Tonowari asked carefully. He brought a good argument, one Ao'nung had considered many times over the past few days. 

"I don't know." Ao'nung admitted "Lo'ak told me Neteyam felt similar, wrecked after we parted. But I am hesitant still, I don't want to take this choice from him. The lack of consent worries me, and I could never forgive myself if he had a change of heart." Ao'nung sank with the words. His parents nodded thoughtfully

"Perhaps his parents should be consulted, too." Ronal mused, looking to Tonowari, who nodded.

"Lo'ak is talking to them, I mean to join him later." Ao'nung told them

"We shall join you." Tonowari decided "Get ready." Ao'nung nodded. His situation was unique, but he decided his parents would be best to ask, not for permission, but for assurance one way or another. 

When it was a reasonable hour, the three Metkayina had arrived outside the Sully's marui, and knocked lightly on the wall outside, announcing their arrival. Voices inside had ceased, and footsteps preceded Neytiri coming to answer.

"Greetings. Chief, Tsahik." She nodded to both in greeting, and smiled at Ao'nung, who tried a weak smile back.

"Hello, Neytiri." Ronal greeted in return. "May we come in? We have something serious to talk about." The solemn declaration drew the lines under Neytiri's eyes into significance, and she gestured for them to enter. Jake rose from his spot on the floor inside, Lo'ak sitting across from him. The boy patted the floor next to him, and Ao'nung sat next to him. When the adults had finished a quiet discussion, they gestured to two over. Rising slowly, they joined the four parents.

"Ao'nung," Jake addressed him "You wish to heal Neteyam with tsaheylu?" Ao'nung nodded, not meeting his eyes. Neytiri spoke next

"Has he declared you as his partner?" She asked, calculating him

"No." Ao'nung told them honestly "We were courting each other, not completely within tradition as we didn't tell anyone, but we loved each other." Neytiri looked quickly to Jake

"Loved? Past?" She double checked, confused.

"Yes, well," Ao'nung cleared his throat and clarified "I still love him. I cannot speak for him, we were having a disagreement recently, before." He told them, and decided he may as well explain properly "My father saw him as a distraction, and swayed my thoughts. But telling Neteyam this, trying to convince even myself, was the most painful thing I have ever done. It was a mistake, and Lo'ak tells me Neteyam felt the same." Ao'nung turned and looked at Lo'ak in apology for bringing his name into conversation. 

"How confident are you in this decision." Jake asked, regarding him gravely.

"I don't want to assume anything, it's dangerous." Ao'nung told him, trying not to sound like he had no idea what he was talking about "But I know how Neteyam felt about me before our argument, and if what Lo'ak says is true, I believe he would be content with it too." Ao'nung finished, wincing at the declaration. This time, Neytiri questioned 

"And if he is not?" 

Ao'nung's breath hitched "I don't believe I will ever be the perfect one for Neteyam. He deserves so much better than anyone could live up to." He didn't miss the wince from his parents at his self-deprecation "But I would give my life to try, to earn that place. I would not bind him to me, he could turn away at any time." He found he meant that last sentence, however much the thought hurt him.

Neytiri didn't move "What of children, with or without his love, it would deprive him of heirs." A fair point, but this time Lo'ak answered.

"Mother, you remember Tasilya?" Lo'ak asked her, and she nodded "Well, her father got pregnant, a miracle of Eywa. It isn't guaranteed, but there is hope for it." 

Neytiri did not seem convinced.

"I would be content with Neteyam for a thousand lifetimes, children or not." Ao'nung declared, a bold statement for his young age "But," he sighed "I don't know."

Ronal saved him from silence "Neytiri, your son is fighting well, he is strong. But I fear it will drain him, this is the first feasible solution I have thought or heard of." Her brutal honesty seemed to shock the other woman.

"I ask you to think on it, as will I." Neytiri said to Ao'nung, stepping closer. "You know Neteyam well, I shall trust your judgement. I believe you care too much for him to lie."

Ao'nung nodded, it was true.

(Is this another nothing chapter? I just write and write and I find like 10 minutes has passed in the story)