In-Between The Lines

Chapter 6

                 Even though I had walked on the same route home from school every day for the past 3 years, nobody knew my secret. That's one of the advantages of not talking to anyone: My mind is a locked chest. Every time I started my journey from my run-down high school, I always stopped to pay a visit to the small clearing in the forest. Today was no exception, and I smiled as I breathed in the crisp Fall air. I loved the sound of the leaves crunching beneath my feet. Plopping my backpack on the ground, I slowly sat down on my usual rock in front of the weathered headstone. When I first started visiting, I had left a notepad in front of the rock so I could write.

Dear Papa, I started writing.
Today was moderately okay, compared to what most days are. I'm starting to actually look forward to school. There's a new art competition that someone told me about. I think I might try and enter something. I can't stay long, because Mom will be home on time tonight, but I'll come back tomorrow, as always.

     I closed the notepad, and picked up my backpack. What I heard next made me freeze in my tracks.

   "Cassidy."

     I turned slowly. Standing there with his backpack still on his shoulders was Nathaniel. He smiled. I backed away from him.

      "No, no, I didn't mean to frighten you. I just wanted to ask if you had thought about the competition yet. " Seeing I was still scared, he added quickly,  " I just saw you turn into this clearing and I decided to see where you were going."

       I relaxed a little, cursing inwardly. Why didn't I check that no one was watching?

       Nathan stared at the headstone, then at the notepad.

"Do you know this person?"

I pickup the notepad and show him the entry I just wrote.

   "I'm sorry, " he says in a quiet voice.

I nod. After a few moments of awkward silence, he shifts his backpack on his shoulders.

  "I have to leave. I'll see you at school tomorrow." And without another word, he walked out of the clearing and started down the sidewalk.

       I cursed myself again. Why would I tell him about my father? He didn't ask for my life story.

      I was left alone in a small clearing to fight a war with myself.

****

         If you're sitting somewhere you can write, I want you to grab a piece of paper and a pen. Now, divide your paper in two sections. In the left section, draw a small circle and in the right section, draw a big circle. Then, label the left side pessimists and label the right side optimists. The big circle on the right side is most 16 year old girls at my school. The small circle on the left side is 15 year old girls who haven't talked to anyone in over two years.

****

          I was dreading school today even more than usual. I could sense that Nathan really wanted an answer, and soon. I stood in front of the gray, paint peeling high school and considered my options. I calmed myself. This was no different than solving a problem in school. Walking in, I made my objective: avoid Nathan at all costs and hope he never talks to me again.

          As I walked to my usual spot near the stairs, I froze in my tracks to see a figure sitting in my spot.

"I'm not here to talk about the art show, or what happened yesterday if that's what you're worried about," said Nathaniel as he moved over to make room for me.

       I took a seat cautiously. I couldn't help but think that this was some elaborate trick.

"I just..... Remember how I said I knew almost everyone here? Well, I do. But.... they don't really know me back, and I'm kinda considered the freak around here. "

He hung his head in his hands.

"What I'm trying to say is, I don't have anywhere to sit without being made fun of or kicked out. Can I please sit with you?"

      

     He figeted with his hands and refused to look at me.

     I considered it for a few moments. Was I really heartless enough to deny a person of a safe place? Especially a person who had went out of his way to be nice to me? I wasn't exactly happy about sacrificing my solitude, but nonetheless, I gave him a curt nod.

       The bell rang, and Nathan turned away. I think he was probably trying to conceal from me his smile that could fule a thousand suns. As we parted ways, him going to art, and me going to tech, I looked around and saw over five different seats he could have sat at, instead of with me. Even though warning bells started going off in my head, I couldn't help but smile to myself. I will play your game, Nathan. And I'm gonna win.

****