In-Between The Lines

Chapter 10

             Do you know that feeling when you are completely lost in life? It may be in the middle of the day, or in the middle of a dark night alone, but sometimes you just feel so confused? It may feel like life has no purpose, or you've lost your way. It may even feel like the whole world is crashing down around you. It's at times like those that you have or realize that sometimes when things feel like they're falling apart, they're actually falling into place.

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      It was late in the evening when I finally remembered the art competition that I had decided to think about. I was confused for a few moments: did I really want to do this? I felt strange, and it took me a few moment to realize that I was actually motivated to do something. I rushed downstairs, my notepad in one hand and my sketchbook in the other.

          I ran into the living room, and saw my mother laying on the couch. She was snoring quietly, and her face was peaceful instead of lined with anxiety. Feeling a little bad, I shook her softly, and when she awoke, I practically shoved my notepad in her face. She read it quietly, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.

        I saw her eyes light up excitedly as she read my explanation that I wanted to enter the art contest. But as I watched her read my plead for the supplies, I saw her eyes harden.

"Cassidy, you know we can't afford this. I barely have money to buy food. Do you really expect me to spend money on this when I could be paying for necessities? No. Enough,"she said seeing my protesting face.

I let out a frustrated sigh.

Can't I just do something, for once? It's not like I'm asking for a colossal amount.

I showed her my argument, and I saw her become even more annoyed.

"Didn't I saw enough? I don't know why you can't understand this. Do you just expect me to stop buying the things we need? I've been working my hardest to try to provide for you, and this is how you repay me?" She said, starting to raise her voice.

"It's not easy, raising a child who won't even talk to me. I'm all alone, and I'm sorry, but I'm all you have. I would love for you to do this, but I can't afford it. So please drop this. " she leaned against the thin pale blue kitchen wall, and put her head in her hands.

I didn't cry, because I couldn't blame my mother. I didn't even know why I was foolish enough to think I could do this. I just felt empty.

I walked up to my room, and sat down on the bed. Just for once, I wanted to do something special. Before I could process what had just happened, my head hit the pillows, and the world faded away.

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       It was 7:00  pm when I finally woke up. I pushed my hair out of my face and peeled my covers off me. Checking my phone, I saw why I had woken up.

Haley: hey that boy from school Nathan wanted me to tell you he needed help with something.  he said something about a Shakespeare project?

I frowned. I hadn't talked to Haley lately. It wasn't unusual, because she would usually hang out with me in the beginning of the year, and get too busy or bored to talk to me after a while. But I was surprised she had texted me about something so trivial.

I quickly typed back,
well, i dont know why he couldnt have just waited

Haley: idk. i guess he just needed help earlier.

I sighed and brought up his contact.

This is Cassidy. What do u need help with?

Nathan: i really dont understand this book. can u come over after school sometime and help? my grade is bad enough now, i really cant mess this up. also, we have to start the essay anyway.

I smiled to myself.

Fine. When?

Nathan: Halloween and 5:00 alright with u?

Yea.

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