The Human Body

9

I woke up and everything was achy. Why was I home? Oh yeah, for Prince. For his dad. That's why he wanted me to be okay with mine, and I wasn't mad at him for that. I wasn't hungry, but I ordered Prince breakfast and got it when it arrived. I got changed into my bathing suit, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to go swimming. I felt bad that I couldn't make love to Prince yesterday, I felt bad that I yelled at my dad. I sat down and Prince was waking up. "Hey, baby. Good morning. You ready to go swimming?" He asked as he sat up. "I was but um, I can't. I don't really have the right thing to go swimming." Prince frowned and that made me feel worse. He was looking forward to it and I was stopping him. "I can go to the store and buy tampons for you." That made me feel a little better. Just the fact that he offered. "I...I don't know. I don't like those." Prince rubbed my back. I felt guilty for him kissing me. Like I didn't deserve him. He was so much better than me in so my ways and there were so many other women in the world. "Here. I'll go down and go grab you some. I really want some snacks for the road today anyway." He kissed my cheek and got out of bed. I took his hand with both of mine and stood up.

Just tell him. He'll understand. He loves you. "What's wrong?" He asked. His hair was a mess from sleeping. "I'll go with you. I'm...pretty picky on tampons." I didn't want to be alone. "Yeah, baby. You can come. Of course you can. We can pack the car up, too to save time." I forced a smile and we got dressed and made sure to grab his dad's ashes before we got in the car. Suddenly, being home wasn't fun anymore. I wanted away from here as far as possible. I wanted to be in LA finishing Prince's painting. I wanted to be back in Minnesota freezing, but at least Prince was there. He was here now. I turned my head towards him and he looked at me. "I'm sorry...for last night." "Felicity, I know what it's like fighting with dads. I fought with my dad and my stepdad. It's-" "No...for not having sex with you." Prince cocked an eyebrow. "Felicity, it's okay. Baby, what's wrong? Talk to me." He pulled me close in the back seat of the driver's car. "I just feel useless. I feel like you'd be better without me." "No. No, baby. That's not true. That's not true at all. I love you so much. You have no idea. I'd be so lost without you." I listened to him and rested my head on his shoulder. We stopped at a gas station for his snacks and my tampons, but we weren't going swimming at the hotel anymore since we checked out. Now, we were on our way to the town in Claiborne Parish.

Felicity was asleep with her head in my lap and I was looking out the window. I was nervous about being in a new place, but now I was aching for Felicity. She was coming down with depression and I had never seen her go through it before. She had been sad and I had always made sure she was okay while she was sad, but this was more than sad. It was like someone ripped the happiness from her. It was like someone stripped her of her pride. Her nose brushed against my stomach and I stroked her hair. "Not too long now, sir." The driver said. I sighed. I wasn't stressed out, oddly. I was mostly worried.

Felicity is everything to me. She's all I got left besides my friends. Her hand reached for her stomach and I put my hand over it to rub it gently. It wouldn't be surprised if that was another thing that was making her depressed. I had heard of it happening before in other women. Apples even told me about her issues with it. I was just worried that she felt so insecure. Maybe now, it was best that Apples didn't come. I knew that Felicity didn't mind her, but I knew her brain patterns now. She'd feel bad that Apollonia was prettier which wasn't true. They were both beautiful, but Apples will always be a friend. Felicity is...she's everything to me. A friend, a lover, a fellow creative. She was perfect. Even if her brain didn't want her to believe it.

We arrived in Claiborne Parish around the early afternoon, and I told the driver specifically where to go. He wanted his ashes dumped in the field where he played with my uncles. I never met them, but I knew they were close. I was just glad that I could do this for him. We stopped in front of a field and we were honestly in the middle of nowhere besides a random house far off. "This is it?" Felicity asked as she was holding the box. "Yup." She handed me the box and yawned as she was just waking up. I felt one of her hands hold mine as we were walking to the field together. "Now is probably the best time, baby. The wind isn't blowing as hard." She said. I smiled and we walked to the center.