ace <3!:
are you awake
luke
i know you aren't asleep
i need you
luke:
it's 4am here
are you okay
what's going on
ace <3!:
i think we just broke up?
"You didn't have to call," Atlas mutters through a yawn. "'m okay, really, 's fine." He's lying, Luke knows he's lying, it's the same lie Luke tells every single time someone asks him how he's doing. And he knows Atlas– he knows him so well, so much so that his heart aches for the man and he doesn't even know what happened.
"You don't sound fine," Luke replies in a hushed voice, careful to twist the bathroom door knob shut as to not wake Calum. He lowers himself down to a sitting position on the floor. "You know, seven in the morning's not really a convenient time to break up with your boyfriend, Ace."
"How'd you know I was the one that did it?"
"You would've led with it if he did it," Luke states. "And what do you mean you think? It's kinda... I don't know. Yes or no."
There's a lull, it's quiet for almost two minutes. Like Atlas doesn't want to even talk about it, because then it's real. Then he actually broke up with the person he was planning to spend the rest of his life with. Luke lets Atlas sit in the silence until he's ready. Then, softly, his voice cracking, "We did. Break up. We broke up."
Then it's real.
Now it's Luke's turn. He just sighs, and another minute-long silence ensues. It's a knowing silence, a sad one, one that Luke knows all too well from all the nights he spent in the dark, laying on the cold bathroom tile in complete silence for hours. He doesn't wish this shit on anybody; the confusion, the isolation, the wishing he was anywhere but there and also never wanting to move from his spot.
... "Didn't you work last night?" Luke cuts through the silence, and it pulls a laugh from Atlas. "Like I said, not really a convenient time."
"I got home at five and he was up, we, uhm... we argued, so I went on a run. I broke up with him when I got back," Atlas explains, and Luke feels like he's just received the spark notes. He has, he knows he did. Because he can feel the tension radiating from Atlas through phone; he's his best friend. Luke knows.
"That must've been a really eye-opening run," Luke comments. "Sooo... did you just... break up with him? Or?" he does his best to subtly drag the answers out of Atlas.
"I said, uhm, I told him that I ca... that I can't. That I don't want to come home and fight every- every night." Luke hears cabinets shutting in the background; Atlas is definitely day drinking, Luke decides. "I told we both need t... time to- to deal with the shit we've got going on. He does. I told him I need him to g–"
There's a thud, then distant crying, then a string of curse words accompanied with a background of glass shattering. Luke doesn't say anything. When Atlas picks the phone back up, it's as though nothing ever happened. "So he's moving out. And I'm single. Now I'm drinking."
Pfftt. "Damn." Luke gets it. All the way down to the shattered glass. "Maybe you should try to get some sleep. Or at least put the whiskey down."
"How do you know I'm drinking whiskey?" Atlas asks, then takes a drink.
(Whiskey.
And cherry coke.)
"Because it's your favorite," Luke scoffs. "I know you've got fucking cherry coke in it too. Weirdo. Anyway, my point stands. Look, I'm pretty well-versed in the whole breakup thing and I can say from experience that day drinking is probably not the way to go."
"Well," Atlas starts, "I'm a doctor, so."
Luke laughs, "That doesn't mean anything in this situation, Ace."
"It means I'm always right," he finishes his drink, and Luke can hear the glass clunk onto the counter. "I'm sorry I woke you up. I was spiraling."
"I wasn't asleep," Luke replies. "I haven't slept in almost two days," he huffs as he rubs his eyes. He's fucking tired, and that's somehow made it harder for him to sleep. "I'm not a big, smart doctor like you but I don't think my meds are working."
"What are you on?" Atlas asks.
"Lithobid and Zoloft," Luke says.
"And you've been on those for a while?"
"Zoloft, yeah," Luke yawns. "Just switched to lithium like a month ago, though."
"You may just be reacting to switching your medications after such a long time," Atlas states. "Not being able to sleep isn't usually a side effect, but you are weird as hell, so..." Luke huffs, and Atlas laughs. "I wish they wouldn't have switched you to lithium, I get so many patients coming in with tremors thinking it's a nerve issue and it was just their meds."
"Damn," Luke chuckles. "I was wondering what the fuck was going on with me."
"Call your psychiatrist tomorrow, caro, tell them what you've got going on and see if your dosage needs to be changed or you just need to try something different." Atlas yawns, and it triggers another in Luke. "I appreciate you talking medicine to me to distract me."
Luke smiles. "Of course. You gonna get some sleep?"
"Probably not. You?"
"Probably not."
"I'll text you later," Atlas says quietly. "Try not to talk about fucking your boyfriend in our group chat, it might make me want to end my shit."
Luke laughs, "So I maybe shouldn't tell you what I was doing since I haven't been able to sl–"
Atlas hangs up the phone.
—
a/n- sorry
