you told me about how you were treated differently, because you have a darker skin color, didn't speak the language, and didn't have the same hair color as them. i told you it still affects me a lot, that these people that preach about their country having „evolved" and being hate free, suddenly call me racial slurs. you said i shouldn't care, but how? all i hear is people making fun of me, calling me monkey because of my body hair, calling me the k slur, calling me b1n ladens daughter. how am i supposed to not care when they make fun of Allah (swt), baba? the only thing that i actually care about is Allah, why are they trying to ruin everything for me. i thought having money and being a quiet, nice girl was enough but at the end of the day one thing is missing. the blonde hair, blue eyes and light skin. i don't want to go through this anymore. first they make fun of me and then they fetishize me. they made fun of us, everything we do. eating with hands, the way we pray, our call to prayer, our names, style, way of speaking...and now they want to be us??? now they want to find a „känäk girl/boy" to have as girl/boyfriend?
are you fucking kidding me? what is the fucking reason for all of this. i was too young for everything they put me through, it started in kindergarten and now? they think it's easy for us? they want to be oppressed like us? are we a joke to them? baba i know you told me to ignore, to endure and to continue with my own life but how? how when these people make everything 10 times worse than it is. baba i wish i could just stay in ur arms and mamas arms forever. i hate this world i hate this dunya i hate it so much. Ya Allah.
May Allah(swt) make it easy for you, for me and for everyone else. ameen.
