sunshine | l.r.h

twelve

chapter twelve:

the voice of reason

"Luke!" Calum calls, following him back down the fire escape. 

"What?" Luke mumbles.

"This is about more than Delilah, isn't it?" Calum pinpoints. Yes, Luke wants to say, and she's the fucking breaking point.

"No," Luke lies.

"Bullshit," Calum calls. Luke shakes his head, not wanting to have this conversation. "This is about your dad, isn't it?" Luke freezes. One of the few things he asked of the boys was not to bring up his home life. His jaw and fists clench. "I'm not scared of you, Luke."

"Yeah," Luke grits, his throat burning. "It is about that bastard."

Calum's face softens for the boy in front of him. "You shouldn't let him ruin everything that's good for you."

"You don't know what's good for me," Luke scoffs.

"Because you never allow good things to happen, Luke. Every time something slightly good happens to you, you turn it away. Look at what you're doing to Delilah."

"You don't know if she's good for me," Luke whispers. Luke's nails dig into his skin, trying to prevent the walls he's worked so hard to keep up from crumbling. 

"Because you're pushing her away," Calum scolds. Luke feels like a child. "What if she is good for you? What if she helps? You're so terrified of being alone but you won't do anything to change it."

Calum's words hit where it hurts. Luke's eyes find the ground as his jaw clenches. "What should I do about it then?"

"I can't make you do anything, Luke," Calum reminds. "But, I think you should apologize to her." Luke parts his lips but Calum cuts him off. "For leaving her, for acting like you don't give a shit. I know you, Luke, and the shit you've been through."

"I don't think apologies are my strong suit," Luke sighs, leaning against the counter. 

"You apologized to Ash," Calum shrugs. Luke's head shakes.

"That's different," he excuses. His eyes focus on the countertop and count the different shades in the marble. "You all are brothers to me. You all know me."

"I know that letting people in is terrifying for you, Luke. You've been through more shit than anyone should. As your honorary older brother, I'm not letting you force yourself to be alone," Calum teases gently. His hand is on Luke's shoulder, reminding him he's here. The door opens but Luke doesn't bother to look up. Ashton and Michael stare at the scene in front of them in confusion.

"You alright, Luke?" Michael questions, sitting at a barstool. 

"Yeah," Luke nods, running his hands down his face. He looks up at the two in front of him. "Where did you two go?"

"We were going try and find something to eat but clearly we got nothing," Mike sighs, drumming his fingers along the counter. Ashton's eyes linger on the blonde in front of him. He's seen this side of Luke before. It doesn't happen often but when it does, it's here to stay. Ashton watches the boy in front of him start to shut himself down slowly and it makes his chest ache. "What happened?"

"Just..." he pauses, letting out a long sigh. "Thinking about how I fuck everything up."

"Luke," Ashton sighs. Michael presses his lips into a line. 

"I can't let one fucking person close to me without thinking she'll leave the second she knows what's happened," Luke continues, running his hand through his hair. Saying the words aloud makes everything sting. Every moment he's had with Delilah comes back with fury. "She doesn't even know I'm a fighter."

"You don't have to tell her everything at once, Luke," Michael attempts to get through to him. Luke knows he's right. The guys also know what Luke's been through and they know the toll it's taken on him. They look at him with sad eyes.

"Why don't you give it a shot with her?" Ashton suggests. 

"That's rich coming from you, Ash," Luke scoffs. "Weren't you the one who wanted me to stay the hell away from her? 

"Luke," Ashton huffs. "I'm trying to protect you."

"I spent ten years of my life protecting myself, Ash. I can do it on my own," Luke assures. The boys know he doesn't mean his words but they still burn. Ashton's jaw tightens.

"Alright," Michael pipes up before someone says something they'll regret. 

"You've suffered enough on your own, Luke," Ashton continues, pressing his hands into the counter. Luke looks away like a child being scolded. "For once, let someone help you. Shutting everyone out isn't going to get you anywhere."

Luke's throat burns as Ashton turns away. Calum sighs as Ashton disappears to his room. A blanket of silence falls over them. 

"We want you to be happy, Luke, that's all," Calum sighs. Luke knows that they only want what's best for him. What's best for Luke terrifies him. The pull he feels toward Delilah terrifies him. Calum gives Luke's shoulder a firm squeeze before following after Ashton. Michael taps the counter lightly.

"What scares you about her?" Michael asks. Luke lets out a long breath, putting his head in his hands.

"Her leaving. Her finding out about me and turning the other way," Luke admits, picking at his nails. 

"I mean, I haven't met her yet but, what if she doesn't leave?" He proposes with a shrug. "I'm all for you doing what you want but Cal and Ash do have a point, Luke. You can't push everyone away forever. It'll only break you more. I'm not saying it has to be her but it wouldn't hurt, right?"

"What should I do?" Luke whispers.

"Talk to her," Michael says as if it's the easiest thing. "Just do what you feel is right. I'm sure she'll understand."

"And this, Michael, is why you're the voice of reason," Luke grins, feeling the weight on his chest lift some. He can't turn away from everything forever. He has to face things at some point. Delilah could be his first step. 

"I try," Michael sighs playfully. "Also, thanks for letting me know you're seeing someone."

"Yeah, well, who knows anymore," Luke mumbles.

"God damnit, Luke Hemmings has a crush," Michael teases. Luke's eyes roll. Michael laughs lightly. "I'm fucking with you. I've been gone for three weeks, I've missed the teasing."

"Yeah," Luke nods with a small grin. "I can't say I've missed you that much."

"Alright, asshole," Michael jokes. The small grin on Luke's face makes everything a bit lighter. Michael knows they should all talk it out but for tonight, he'll let it rest.

What's everyone's favorite food?

I hope you all like the direction this is going in so far and I can't wait for things to actually pick up a bit <3.