The Devil's Poison (Akutagawa X Reader)

Chapter 20/ Strong Words

"Hey? Hey are you awake?" You heard off in the distance. Your vision was cloudy as you started to come to after passing out earlier.

You were in no pain, besides a few small cuts here and there from a grazed bullet, but nothing that needed serious treatment.

"Huh? Who...?" You started to mumble out to whoever was there, your body feeling heavy and tingly as you started to become fully conscious.

"Oh there you are." The voice said again, sounding closer now then before.

You tried to sit up, your head seeming to spin as you did so.

"Take it easy alright? You need to make sure you don't overwork yourself." The voice said again, you finally recognized it as Gin's.

Like her words pushed you itself you instantly collapsed back on the bed. Your gaze finally shifting to face her. "Is he okay? Did we make it?"

She nodded at your words, her gaze hard to make out with her mask covering most of it. "Mhm, we did. He's doing a lot better thanks to you." She said, her body moving in a bowing motion.

"It was nothing. I mean he is our team member after all, and your brother." You said, a sigh escaping your lips as you spoke.

You tried sitting up again, your body soon regaining it's energy back as you spoke again. "I wasn't just going to let him die, he means too much to this place rather people like it or not."

Gin nodded, her body language showing extreme thanks. "Thank you again, and if you ever need anything I'll be a call away. I owe you."

"Thank you Gin, I appreciate it." You said, a smile forming on your face.

"We'll, I'll let you be. Enjoy the rest of your day." She said before leaving the room, bowing once again to show her gratitude.

Now that you were alone you had nothing to do but think.

Was Higuchi okay? Did anyone else get hurt? What caused the others to suddenly decide to help out?

You were overwhelmed with so many questions you didn't know what to do or who to ask for answers.

So instead you slowly raised from the bed, holding onto the wall to make sure you had your balance.

You were still a bit tired from the rough mission, the few cuts you had causing you to flinch in pain as you moved.

But soon enough it subsided, your mind too focused on seeing Akutagawa.

-
The sight of Akutagawa's body made your body jump, like something sparked in you all of a sudden.

You didn't know what it was, or what you were feeling. All you knew was you were glad he was okay.

To your dispare he was still unconscious, his body only looking slightly better.

You decided to sit there for awhile, hope of him walking up filling your body.

"Glad to see you back, even if I had to do all the work, for once." You mumbled out, chuckling a little to yourself as you spoke.

You caught yourself staring at his face, mesmerized once again by his features.

You'd be lying if you said you didn't like him. His face holding so much beauty, and even his passion for proving himself made you fond of him. Even if it would cause him to lash out sometimes.

Though deep down you knew he didn't mean it, that he is constantly in fight or flight because of his past. Fear of being abandoned or not enough constantly in his mind.

You understood that more then most people, because you have a similar mindset as well.

That's why you felt so drawn to him, because he's the one you know will get you the most, same as you understood him as well.

As you thought about this you caught your hand come up, it eventually being placed on his.

The sensation caused your heart to flip a little, realization of what you were doing settling in.

"You cause a lot of trouble you know that right? You better start being more tolerable or else you may not have anyone to save you text time." You said, sniffling a little as you continued. "Well, as long as I live you'll have me, rather you like it or not."

It was as if your words grabbed his subconscious and pulled it back into his head. Like your words were the only thing he needed to come back to reality.

"You..." He mumbled out, his voice seeming to drag as he spoke.

You quickly moved your hand off his, the sudden voice causing you to flinch.

You didn't expect him to wake up yet, or even for the next week, so when he suddenly spoke you couldn't help but panic.

"O-oh you're up!" You stumbled out, your face turning bright red in embarrassment.

You hoped he didn't realize you had your hand on his, fear of rejection crippling through you.

But to your relief he didn't mention it, and instead he spoke the two words you never thought was possible from him.

"I'm sorry."

You looked at him, a smile creeping along your face as you sighed. "It's okay Akutagawa, I'm just glad you're okay."

There was a sad sigh from him, his face filled with regret.

You could tell he was in pain and because of that he was vulnerable. Something you picked up on quickly.

"No Y/N, I'm sorry. I got way into my head and treated you like shit. I was just scared of being alone and ended up making it worse for myself." He said, a weak cough/wheeze coming from the man.

Your heart dropped at his words. You already knew that's what he was doing, that he was afraid of being abandoned so he made it so it wasn't possible for anyone to. Though something about him actually telling you made you crumble.

"I understand Akutagawa, more then you think. So please don't beat yourself up over it." You said, giving the man a reassuring smile as you spoke.

"Despite what you may tell me and yourself, I know you secretly like my company anyway. I'd be lying if I said I didn't either." You continued, a chuckle escaping your lips.

You could tell the man wanted to protest, but he knew you were right, so he'd just waste his last bit of energy trying to fight you on it.

"Whatever, just let me rest." He said, a slight hint of endearment lining his voice.

"Okay okay, I'll be back later to check up on you though, okay?" You said, standing up from your seat next to the bed.

"Mhm. Whatever you want." He replied, the hint of endearment being replaced with a silent plea to keep your word.

You nodded and smiled at him, you suddenly growing enough courage to put your hand overtop of his again, your thumb rubbing it for a second before you took it off.

You left the room with a sigh, your face turning beat red at what you just did. "Idiot idiot." You mumbled to yourself as you headed down the hall.

What was I thinking? It was one thing when he was asleep, but now that he was awake what if you messed something up just then idiot?! You thought as you continued to walk.

As you made it to your room, you yawned as exhaustion crept up on you again. All the emotions today draining you hard.

You didn't even bother getting changed into something comfy, your mind just focused on sleep.

And you were out before your head even fully hit your pillow.