BLOOM [OHSHC]

Chapter 30 - Feelings

Kyoya Ootori was never one to talk about his feelings.

After Tamaki barreled into his life, Kyoya learned that Tamaki needed regular updates about the state of his internal affairs and initially assumed that it was some form of pity: Poor Kyoya, always stuck with his feelings inside his brain. In Kyoya's mind, Tamaki only asked to help him sort things out or to dig for information that could be used against him later... Or, at least, that's what Kyoya's parents taught him.

His family was not close or loving in any way, and he never had a great relationship with any of them besides his elder sister, but, even then, she married young and moved out quickly, leaving Kyoya alone. Kyoya learned to compartmentalize around his family—his father and brothers in particular—because wishy-washy things like feelings angered them; facts were all that mattered. Did Kyoya ace his pop quiz? Did Kyoya have perfect attendance again this year? Did Kyoya get the best grades in his class? Did Kyoya get that coveted internship? And the answer was always the same: yes, of course. Then the conversation was over and it was business as usual.

But, behind the academic and career-adjacent facts, there were so many questions that his family never even considered asking about. How did Kyoya pass his time? Was he sleeping well? Did Kyoya have friends, or maybe even a best friend? What were his dreams, his ambitions, his goals? Was Kyoya happy?

And when exactly did he fall in love with Michiyo Kimura?

That night, after Michiyo left—exhausted from hours upon hours of studying at Kyoya's house—she smiled at him at the front door and reached out to squeeze his hand. Kyoya's heart stammered in his chest at her touch, hoping that his face didn't convey the crack in his usually-so-sturdy façade. Michiyo said, "Thank you. For everything," and she left him with a peck on the cheek, disappearing into the night like their studious night together, her smile, her kiss... was nothing abnormal. His cheekbone burned as if she'd branded him, his pulse racing in his veins.

Now, Kyoya laid in bed on top of all of the covers and blankets fully-clothed, staring at his ceiling. All of the lights were off in his room, mostly because he didn't want anyone to interfere with his thought process by thinking he was available, but also because the lights were too damn bright for complex critical thinking. He drummed his fingers along his sternum as he considered the facts himself: Michiyo's touch made his heart sputter, her laugh warmed his ears, her kiss seared itself into his skin, and her smile made him lose track of his thoughts. She spoke to him without filtering herself, and he did the same in return. He didn't get sick of being near her or get drained from her presence, despite his usual lethargy from hanging out with anyone besides himself. She pushed him to live louder, to try harder, to be better.

Michiyo was different from anyone else he'd ever met; she was funny and charming and witty and smart and selfless and protective. She saw him for who he truly was beneath his veneer of poise and money, and called him out on his bad behaviors, unafraid of his silver tongue or his resources or his rich parents. Michiyo treated him like a normal person. For that... he... found her charming. No, that didn't quite capture it. He found her breathtaking, enrapturing, exhilarating.

The realization kept him up all night, tossing and turning in bed as he denied, denied, denied. He tried to look for evidence that countered his tentative answer, but nothing came up. Sure, she was annoying sometimes, but wasn't everyone? And wasn't Michiyo's particular brand of annoying just a bit different, more tolerable and, dare he say, more adorable? Yes, she was hard-headed and stubborn, but didn't he enjoy that? Didn't he love debating stupid things with her and egging her on, teasing her into more arguments simply because he liked to hear her talk? And, of course, she was goofy and cheerful and compassionate and completely the opposite of his stuffy, serious family... Somehow, she balanced him out in every way. Where Kyoya was quiet, Michiyo was loud; where he was cold, she was warm; where he was a night owl, she was an early bird. They agreed on the things that mattered, and she was maybe the only person he legitimately looked forward to seeing every day at school.