BLOOM [OHSHC]

Chapter 32 - For Science

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I'd be a liar if I said I slept soundly that night.

Between the drama with Ellis, the verbal pep-talk/punch-in-the-face from Kaoru, and the whole thing with Kyoya, I had more than enough on my mind to keep me up almost the entire evening. When I did drift off from running my brain in circles, I woke in fits and starts, and, upon checking my phone, found that I'd only slept for half an hour at any given time.

Frustrated and fed up, I finally called off sleep altogether around four in the morning and hopped out of bed, crossing to my easel to do some cathartic anger-painting. There were too many stupid things on my mind and too many confusing emotions jumbling around in my chest for coherent thoughts or smooth sleep, so I just... gave up and stayed awake. On autopilot, I squeezed out paints onto my palette and flicked on my desk lamp, the brushes soaring in my fingers without any real thought behind it.

The fight with Ellis resonated in my bones the hardest, my cheek still sore and warm from where he'd slapped me. Given the way it was pulsing with my heartbeat, I was beginning to think it would leave a bruise. Ouran's gossip mill would have an absolute field day with that.

As I obliterated my canvas with color and texture and meaningless strokes, I realized I wasn't sure what I'd done wrong exactly, and that's why Ellis's abrupt anger and his over-the-top punishment didn't make sense — I listened when Ellis called me for dinner; I didn't use any snark or sass with him; I wasn't furiously making out with Kyoya, at least not in front of Ellis... so what was the issue? Why was Ellis so worked up about Kyoya stopping by? What had I done to incur such wrath?

Once I felt sufficiently drained of excess emotions, I hopped in the shower, where Kaoru's voice haunted me, his words repeating in my head as the steaming water poured over me. My paint-stained hands dripped rainbows onto the tile before inevitably circling the drain. Literally anyone with eyes can see it: you two have undeniable chemistry, past-Kaoru said as I watched the citrusy oranges and pale violets and deep ceruleans disappear, You and Kyoya are obvious.

Somehow 'anyone with eyes' didn't include my dumbass self.

And Kyoya... god, he must think I'm an absolute mess. I pulled my fluffy robe around my shoulders and twisted my lavender hair up into a towel before plopping onto my bed and staring at my painting without actually seeing it.

How in the fuck was I supposed to fix things between Takashi, Kyoya, and I?

I dropped my face into my hands with a groan. The problem was mine, and I knew that. If I hadn't kissed either of them, then none of this would be an issue. Takashi and Kyoya hadn't done anything wrong... If I never kissed either of them, we'd all be friends, and everything would be normal and good and fine if I could just learn to keep my lips to myself.

I backed myself into a corner. Briefly, I considered a power throuple with the two of them before laughing out loud. Kyoya's family would never be okay with that, and I had a feeling that I was probably also on the prohibited list, so our little smooch-fest last night was more clandestine than he was letting on. And Takashi's dedication to Honey probably meant he would barely be able to keep up with a regular relationship... nevertheless a polyamorous one. I started wondering if I'd ever come first with him, or if Honey would always come first.

Even though the line of thought felt particularly dour, I decided it didn't matter at the moment. My alarm went off for the usual time I'd wake up, and I robotically went through the motions of putting on my uniform, waking Mei and making her breakfast, packing up my homework and riding to school in silence...

Wondering when the doomsday clock would hit midnight.

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As I stepped out in front of Ouran's front gates and headed inside with two hot coffees in hand—I wasn't sure what Kyoya liked, so I got two very different drinks I liked so he would hopefully enjoy one and leave me with a drink I liked either way—Ellis honked once to grab my attention before beckoning me toward him with a wave.