To The Beyond You

Chapter 4

"It's gonna be a long night Ryan" I said. "It's already 5 a.m invy". He replied. "yes. not going to University tomorrow makes it count too. Im gonna sleep all day long." I said stretching my whole back as I walk towards the couch. He replied tossing the keys on the table "yes baby." He sat next to me laying his back on my lap. "Let's make a deal." He says. Bringing his arms to his head. As he looks at me.

"I can make your night double long, with triple time your rest.
"What do you mean?" I say.
"Just confirm this I'll make you understand and last everything later"

He said as he comes further up kissing me. He stared at me in a way as if he needs assurance from me. To continue what he was doing. He says it all in that one stare.
I shut my eyes more than a second assuring him that I want the same too. He didn't break the eye contact. I did the same thing as he lifted me and walked us towards our bedroom. He laid me and then himself on me. He locked his hands with mine.
Its gonna be a long long night.

I already fell asleep is what I've realised when I slightly try to open my eyes. I love him more, for him keeping his words for that night to be more peaceful. I smile and turn myself towards him hugging him then I realised it was a pillow I looked around. Pillows all around me. It was kept as if I was a baby then he comes, the guardian of the baby with a cup of coffee. I gave him a slow relaxing smile as he walks towards me, but he looks normal or way too normal. My smile faded with the hint of *what happened?* kind of expression. He comes placing the cup on the table and sit on one of the pillow beside me on my left side.

He said " I am heading to my office. "Why are you leaving so early Ryan?". I replied. "You have more than an hour left? Did something happen in your office?"I asked. He said "No" sounding everything was perfectly fine in his office."
Then what's wrong? Why is he being like this? "Did I do something wrong?" i asked. He closed his mouth seeming he was trying to say something but shut himself down. He just glared at me. I understood I did something. what did I do now? Is it about last night? About Vincent? He still wants to talk about it or what? I don't even remember on topic of me and Vincent we were arguing about.

He is just ignoring me. He was seeing somewhere right around the lamp and then everything else but my eyes. I Rose myself so that I pressure my weight on my elbows on the bed and then i felt strain in my shoulders . I groaned in pain. He held my hand and straightened it and it came back normal.

Now i glared at him with all the emotions showing clearly in my eyes and asked "are you saying? Ryan?" he found helpless as I was forcing him. What else could I have done? He judges without listening to the judgement. This was the easiest way for me. To force him.
He replied hesitantly,
"You were drunk last night invy."
"Yes. A little bit. So?"
He said, "So you were not in control.
" Yes. I said. I was with you Ryan. You were there for me.
He said,
"We were both drunk before your ride. From the party you were drunk."

So he is saying that because i did something very crazy with him last night that I could barely even remember and so that's how I reacted with all the OTHER people before i met him when i was drunk?

"Why don't you say it directly?"
"You think I behaved in the same manner with Vincent too right?"

Is what i said. I was not able to control. My shoulders were shivering that to this extent Ryan could get.

Say it Ryan! For god's sake.

"Look I'm worried for you invy."

"I can see that from myself Ryan. I know how to handle myself. I can and I let myself be free with you Ryan. Only you because I feel safe and I know when to behave even if I'm drunk." I said.