RESPONDING TO HER LOVE

My Self Esteem

"If you don't know who you are, you can actually suffer identity crisis"

Is it normal for boys
to think about love? What of talking to your friends about it...., "Dude, you won't believe how I fell in love yesterday!"
Honestly, I don't think I can muster the courage to tell my few friends that I want to experience love.  For some time now, I've been fantasizing about it but there's no girl in the picture.
I am Ken. I desire to be in a relationship like others. Not because of any kind of pressure or what people may think. Seriously, it has been there in my mind. But seeing that I'm an Introvert, a very shy person, I can only wish but not have. Who will know what's in your mind if you don't say it. I come out everyday to watch cute couples, watch romantic movies and read books.
If only my Dad will give a minute of his time to ask me about it or share a story of his past life, stuff like that. Seeing that I am the photocopy of my Dad, possibly, he didn't have one. All I get to hear is 'how much time he would spend reading, traveling from one place to another just to end up a Principal in sec.school. I admire his dedication to academics and for survival, coming from a poor home himself. He's not the perfect mentor; career choice and financial success but I love him. He's my Dad.
I'm not an outdoor person, but I know my society very well. I read books, newspapers; both online and offline. I love Football and celebrity gist, Hollywood movies are part of the things that consume my time.
One thing elude me, how to find love in real time. Thank God for Technology, social media apps. I get to relate with others, scroll through feeds, say Hi to all my imaginary friends and laugh out anxiety.
Loneliness, my friend said is a sign of depression. But all my life, I've lived and still living like this. So, I'm not complaining because it has never bothered me. My best friends are my books that can never leave or break up with me no matter what and my thoughts. The noise in my head is far more louder and entertaining than that of my environment.
I never knew it worried my parents until they told me I was going to sit for common entrance exams, into one of the prestigious boarding school in my state. I accepted immediately, to me, all the children and adolescents in my community, I think I'm more knowledgeable than them. So, I need new challenge and to mingle with people from different states and origin. Nobody will miss me here, not even family. Except of course, my Mummy, that won't stop crying. Its irritating me, adult crying on my shoulder. Its not as if I would not be coming back for holidays. She has a lot to worry about, especially my other siblings. Coming from a family of five children, three girls and 2 boys, which I'm the second born. I want to study hard, graduate and support my family. Be a role model to my younger siblings and conquer my world. But I've got to discover myself first. You can't be timid yourself and expect to influence anyone.
"Everybody crave for recognition and at the same time Care", someone to assist and love them. I am not an exception. As a young man, you still need the admiration of ladies. I guess, its not common for everybody.
I'm just your normal teenage boy, not that handsome, neither from rich family to make up for it. No special skill, though I joined my friends to play street ball. I attended government public school, so it definitely affected my vocabulary and grammar. Its not an excuse but to show you how much I needed to work hard to meet up.
Anyway, that's enough introduction. Now, let me tell you my story of love. Of course it happened for me. Let me take you on a journey, through memory lane. Can you write a composition of yourself. Where will your story begin. As you are thinking about that, enjoy mine. Don't be too critical, you may miss the thrill .

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