RESPONDING TO HER LOVE

Break Up! Why Now?

"The Heart of human problem is the problem of humans heart".

Queen POV:
After the meeting, we were now heading back to hostel. I'm mentally exhausted because of the little quarrel with my bestfriend, and with the look on Loveth's face, her mental wheel is turning with high speed because of me. I can't rap my brain around what just happened inside there.
Did I just show jealousy? whereas I know that Loveth was teasing him.
I don't like the tension between us and the awkward silence that keep stretching, its getting to me. I have to do something before she makes assumptions and conclude whatever thought that's running in her mind.

"I don't wish to lose my best friend yet".

I held her hand tight and stopped. She looked up at me and raised her brows.
"Love, what's with the silence. Did you lose your voice at some point that I did not know?" I asked her.
"You tell me? Did I lose my voice or am I losing my sanity, hmm? Why did we really come here? Don't lie to me again, not with church work okay. If you want to use me, at least tell me the truth".
"I don't get your point. We both enjoyed a very articulated teaching there. So, what else do you not understand?"
"Hey..hey! Please, don't do that pretending with me. I've known you for a long time. When something is bothering your mind, you always share it with me without worrying too much. But now, you've  become anxious, persuasive and more secretive. What are you hiding, hmm? Do you have feelings for Ken?"

Thank God there's no water in my mouth or something because, I would've spit it on her face but instead, I was coughing my throat out. "What! Are you crazy. Did you think that I came to his meeting because I wanted to see him? You are joking right?" I asked her averting my gaze and continue to walk.

"These reactions I was not expecting from you, It's okay if you admit it. I'm not going to judge you. But don't take me for a fool. If you like him..."
"What are you saying?" I try using anger to brush her off. I hate how she can read me easily. Maybe because I've been thinking a lot about him.
"Can you now read minds or what? You want to be my shrink, what's with the questioning? I never told you I liked Ken before and don't forget that I'm in a relationship with Michael".
"Yeah! I can see that with the amount of time we spent together more than you do with him. I don't want to mention your everyday meetings and burying yourself in your studies. When was the last time you talked with him this week that's passing now, eh? None, because you've lost interest in him".

"Your assessments are correct. It shows you are very observant and true friend," I hugged her, which is not what we normally do in the middle of road or what I had in mind.
"But I'll only admit to one thing, that I've been spending a lot of time with you these days. Solving one problem or attending a meeting. But it seems you are having a problem with that. So, I will stop and you should not tell me how to run my life, who to talk to and who not to. Okay?" I left her there.

Its time I face my problem and talk to Michael. No one should be in dark again or hold the other person back. I can't call this one year and half time with Michael anything but a 'sittuationship', for status maintenance. I am done with it.

"I am a lady of great passion and I can't be limited".

There's no need going back to the hostel now, as lots of students have started gathering at the field.

Its as if a huge door that have been locking emotions out in my life, was opened and I can't get a hold of myself. I was just lashing out at any person that makes unnecessary comment around me.
I was just moving to any direction that my leg carried me to. I only stopped when my friend called my name. I realized that I've been standing in front of Ken's locker, pacing back and forth. She touched my shoulder and we sat down.
"I thought you left. I'm sorry that I lashed out on you. I can't get a hold of my emotions right now". I said to her.
"Its okay. I know. Am also to be blamed, for speaking out of turn. Ken is a harmless person. I just feel like, he's too calm and gentle for you to start liking him". She said.