From The Ashes, We Rise

Almost Easy

"Well this is awkward", I state as Kiara and I stood on the docks of the city, a restaurant on the street behind us. "It is isn't it?", She asked not really looking at me staring towards the sea, her expression was unreadable, as I swallowed a lump in my throat. It's been about an hour since the race, and since that happened, I honestly didn't know how to react in that situation when she did that so I just stood there and let her do it, which didn't really last long as she pulled away and her expression just told me that my reaction wasn't really the one she hoped for. As she pulled away, the air around us got awkward though that didn't last long as the other racers finally showed up and all attention was focused on them instead. I remembered telling Kiara that would talk later about this, and she didn't respond, so now here we are. Rydell wanted to celebrate and tried to clear this weird tension between us so we all, along with Speedie, went to a restaurant of sorts along the coast.

It was a nice gesture, but everything was just really awkward as Kiara wouldn't really speak or even look at me. The food was alright, it was just some simple ramen but I wouldn't complain free food is free food. It was nice, but I couldn't really feel good about it as my mind was lost in thought just thinking about what just happened between the two of us. Rydell and Speedie really tried to cheer us up and everything, but it mostly fell flat so the night was cut short. We said our goodbyes and everything as Rydell and Speedie left, leaving me and Kiara alone. I turned to look only to find that she had walked off to the docks, standing there all by herself staring towards the sea. Taking a deep breath I walked over to her, and stood right by her I could see her glance over at me, but she didn't say anything, and neither did I, so we both just stood there in silence, neither of us really wanted to break it, maybe we both were afraid of what to say to each other.

I honestly had no idea what to say to her, I've never had to experience anything like this before in my life as I've never really cared about things like this before and just pushed it aside. Sure I've had my moments where I thought about stuff like this, but I just thought that I didn't really need to have something like this before. I don't even know how I even feel about her, and I never would have thought she would ever do that, I honestly don't know if she really feels that way, or was it just an in the moment thing, since we did just avoid death moments before that. I looked over at her, and she was still not looking at me as I noticed she was fiddling with her fingers, was she nervous? I sighed before looking up at the sky and noticed that there was a full moon in the sky, and I remembered something dad me, and how he confessed to mom back then, but do I like Kiara?

I think back to it, and we've known each other for quite a bit now that I think about it, "Almost been a month since we first met.", I said out loud not even realizing that I did as she responded, "Time flies huh?", I look over to her to see that she was looking down now, "I'm sorry", she said quietly. "Sorry?", I asked her as she still refused to look at me, I waited for a response as she didn't respond for a moment, "I made everything awkward, and kinda ruined things.", she states as I look at her to see her shaking a little bit as I could hear her sniffling. "I didn't think and I made a mistake that now just ruined everything.", Kiara states as she continues, "I thought that I could've lost everything in that moment, and thought if I didn't do something that I would've regretted it, now look at me I just made it worse than before.", she states as she laughs a bit almost as if this were all some sort of joke. "I just wanted that one thing I could never have, and I thought that maybe everything would've worked out...", she sighs looking up at the sky, I didn't say a word and just let her speak as she needed this, "For the first time in my life, I felt normal and found something...no someone that I ended up falling for, the only one who ever treated me this way, and I just ruined this special thing that we had.", she says her voice shaking now as I could see tears falling...Kiara.

She sighs, before taking a deep and shaky breath, "I understand if you hate me for doing this, and just don't even want to talk to me anymore, I get it, and I'll be fine with it, but...", she states before finally looking up at me, as I could see that her bright pink eyes were red and puffy, her cheeks were stained with tears as she had this smile on her face as if trying to show that she wasn't hurt in any way, but that smile was faltering as she spoke, I felt my heart strings being pulled as looked at her, and I've never seen her ever like this before, she was always this bright, loud, annoying, slightly obnoxious, but cheerful, and joyful person but seeing her like this hurt me, and what followed made it worse. "...I'll always be there for you even if it hurts me, I'll always be by your side, so let's just forget about this okay?", she asks putting on this upbeat, happy, and cheerful tone, but I knew it was fake. "Come on (Y/n), I bet Rydell and Speedie and worried.", she says as she starts to head back to the car, as I look behind me to see her holding herself as I could hear her muttering to herself, "I'm fine, I'm fine, it'll only hurt for a little bit right?".