M Y W O R L D | Sykean

1

As always, I sat in the corner of a little bar my band mates and me used to go after a concert in our home town.
We're currently on a world tour but since it's the first night playing we're still in shettfield preforming.
Tomorrow we will be traveling to New York.
While the others were talking to some hot girls I was all by myself watching several people dancing, kissing and drinking in the messy bar.
There was a small dancing floor next to a stage where little bands would preform shows.
The walls were plastered in neon shining signs and posters of naked ladys.

I yawned since it was getting kinda late, I would usually be sleeping by now...
They never stay here so late what's wrong tonight?
My eves traveled the small and shabby building, searching for a certain someone.
Actually I wanted to see Oliver, my best friend and the lead singer of our band.
I would probably catch him kissing another girl again, which will most likely break my heart into one more piece.
Since we became a band I have had feelings for the tall tattooed guy.

I just liked his smile, his sparkly brown eyes when he tells me something he is passionate about, his strong arms which comforted me when I was having a panic attack, his fluffy longish dark brown hair, but I liked his goofy and extrovert personality the most.
We were the complete opposite of each other but still we fitted so perfectly.
I was very introverted and kept to myself.
I didn't talk very much, let alone meeting new people.
Oliver was my one and only and I wanted him so badly to be mine.

But he would never like a guy, especially not me!
I was just too skinny and awkward, and my light brown, shoulder length hair weren't in.
I just liked my eyes, since they were a very intense blue and I got compliments on them kinda often.
But overall I didn't really like myself.
In fact, I didn't want to be here any more.
Everyday I dreamed of dying because I couldn't make people happy, I couldn't bring them joy or comfort them when they're down.
I didn't even understand how a handsome and nice person like Oli could be friends with a absolutely horrible person like me...
But I was endlessly grateful for him and sometimes I wonder if I should tell him about my suicidal thoughts... But then again I didn't wanna bother anyone with this shit.

My eyes met Olivers, who was standing a few meters away, he winked at me which made my heart flutter.
Everything was ruined after he leant forward and started kissing a hot blonde chic, the nice feeling I just got was now replaced with sorrow and anger.
Dude, they were making out so fucking hard, it's disgusting seeing her kissing his perfect lips and shoving her tongue into his perfect mouth.
God I wish I was her...

---

It was 4 am when Jordan finally decided it would be time to go back to the hotel and collected all of us together so we could go.
Oliver was pretty drunk so I had to support him.
My heart beat fast and my skin was burning where i touched oli's.
Everything he did on our way was giggling and staring at me, making me feel very uncomfortable.
"hehe... Hehehe Matt I really like your eyes, you know?" he whispered into my ear.
I frowned.
What did he just say?
I stopped walking and looked right into his huge eyes.
"Oliver how much did you drink?", I asked him confused.
"Dunno, like ten shots? Not that much hahahah..."
God he was such a dumbass, but I sure adored him.
When we arrived, I took Oli to our shared room, saying goodnight to my band mates who were also sharing rooms.
We just didn't want it to get too expensive.
I laid him onto his bed and went to the bathroom to take a nice shower.
Letting the hot water run down my body relaxing my muscles my thoughts traveled back to Oliver, like always.
He was just driving me insane.
I really wanted to tell him how I felt but it would lead nowhere... I think it would even destroy our friendship and that's the last thing I wanted, I just loved him to much for that.
Why does love always have to be complicated?
After what felt like 15 minutes I turned the water off, got dressed and prepared myself to go to bed.
I sighed due to fucking feeling depressed as I walked out seeing a sleeping Oli.
He looked so peaceful and beautiful asleep.
Suddenly I found the courage to walk up to him and inspect his face.
His long lashes threw light shadows on his cheeks and I could see his chest going up and down.
My gaze trailed to his full and flawless lips.
I wanted to kiss them so badly...
Feeling very confident I even moved closer but I stopped when my face was like 2 inches away from his.
I could even feel his steady and hot breathing on my lips.
Man I was so in love with this man it just hurted me...
Turning the little light beside Oliver's bed out I moved away from him intending to go into my own bed, right beside his.

"mmmh...", I heard a light mumble.
I froze, was he awake while....?
Slowly I turned around seeing Oliver's features illuminated by the bright moon shining through the window.
"Could you... Sleep beside me?", he whispered ever so softly.

"O-oli, we already are, my bed's right beside yours, remember?"

"No dumbass, I mean in my bed."

"Are you sure? You're still drunk... You might regret it tomorrow", at the end of the sentence I got silent.

"I like you more than you think, now come on please I don't wanna sleep alone...", he kept his voice low as if I weren't supposed to actually hear this.

I hesitated the shy person I was, but eventually I crawled into his bed, my back facing his.
My heart was beating so fast, I swore it could explode any moment.
Thing got worse when I felt his body turn and his heavy arm on my waist, pulling me closer.
I could feel his chest on my back now.
Oh god, I might die from nervousness!

After about half an hour I managed to fall asleep, happy to have Oliver by my side.
This might actually be the best day I've ever had.