BLOOD BOUNDED - THE SHADE - English - Castlevania Lords of Shadow (fanfic) PII

Chapter 35

In the vast corridor of the castle, Marie felt as small and irrelevant as she looked, compared to the massive walls and columns, from which the statues emerged with a life of their own, stagnant in time. Everything was so sinister, so worn, so dark...

Perhaps a reflection of his lord's heart, she thought with grim uneasiness.

"Then" the Toymaker walked by her side, carrying a strange artifact in his hands "you are desecrating my theater with your sadness." Distracted, he took a tool and began to dress it. "What arguments does Milady have to say that the Lord no longer sees you as his companion?"

Head down, she dropped her shoulders even more with a sigh. How to explain? The pain in her chest wouldn't let her speak. However, she had started that matter, even without really being aware of it, and somehow she had to end it.

"Has he told you, perhaps?" The old man continued. "Has he told you that he doesn't love you?

"NO!" She got excited.

She didn't realize how loud she had exclaimed, until she heard her own echo off the walls. The plump little man was leering at her, one white eyebrow raised. As she looked away again, flushed, he adjusted his delicate glasses.

"Well, that makes me glad." He resumed his work. "Because obviously the feelings that you profess remain more than latent. Since I've known you, the light on your face at the mention of his name has changed my impressions about the truth of this macabre place, and has even given me hope. You, more than anyone in this world, maintain that his humanity is not lost and can find redemption, and I have even come to believe it. If so, I can't just ignore the tears you're clinging to, don't you think?

Marie closed her eyes. She had no intention of sharing her regrets. It was bad enough to find herself in a world she didn't know, surrounded by creatures that could turn on her enemies at any moment. But she was tempted. She wanted so badly to take out everything her heart was keeping.

Maybe a little. Only a little.

"When I met him" she began, with a broken voice "Gabriel thought that I was afraid of him, because the others did. I was so small and so shy that it was hard for me to get close, and I caused many misunderstandings. Those who knew him considered him dangerous for well-founded reasons, and he was convinced that it was true. How many times did he try to stay away! He claimed over and over again that he could hurt me and that when he met my eyes he had seen apprehension." She smiled without humor "Although you already know all that, if your dolls were able to tell it."

"Perhaps" his tone was carefree. "Even my alter ego is incapable of letting any beautiful story pass without representing it. However, you have only just repeated what our public already knows, a part of reality. You haven't answered my question yet."

She had to laugh despite herself. Some personalities just come deep ingrained, no matter the situation.

"It's just..." she hesitated "there's so much I don't know about this reality that... I feel scared. I have never been so scared in my entire life." And she snorted. "I don't even know if my state can be called life. In Carmilla's lair, I could see his eyes: when he touched me, when he spoke to me, even when he resisted the influence of that... witch. He chose me all the time and he did it from the heart, I could see it." Her brief pause allowed her to gather strength to continue. "But there is something that keeps my soul bleeding, burning with pain."

"You are not here. You're not real."

"To him I'm just an illusion, like everything else," she sobbed. "How can I blame him, if he buried my body with his own hands? As much as my soul wanted to stay by his side, I knew I couldn't: I abandoned him. I have hurt him so much. His centuries of seclusion have transformed him to such an extent that I hardly recognize him. His grim expression has turned to hatred and his rudeness has turned to deranged violence." She sighed heavily. "Sometimes I wonder if he will keep in his chest, that warm and affable heart... and loyal."