A Match of Ice and Fire

Chapter 18: Kaya

I walked back to my room alone. No one stopped me. No one followed me. When got back to my bedroom I couldn't sleep. All I could do was pace, back and forth, for what must have been hours.
I should be have been celebrating my victory. The escape from my marriage to a tyrant which I had beaten in a duel of honor. His defeat was witness by hundreds on my people. Instead, Zuko screams still rage in my ears. The pain siezed look in his eyes, seared into my memory. The way he had writhed in agony at my hand. I had won. So why did I feel like the villain?

At any moment, I expected my uncle to burst through the door and start shouting at me about how I'd ruined everything, how I'd destroyed the diplomatic relationship that we'd fought so hard to bridge, that i'd failed my family, my people, my nation... However, it wasn't untill well after midnight that Chieftain Arnook came to me.

He entered quietly and when he spoke he did not shout, he simply asked; "how are you feeling?"

"I threw up." I blurted. The question from my uncle came as such a surprise  I didn't know what else to say.

"I heard."

The conversation felt as silted as it sounded. I can't remember the last time I had a conversation with my uncle which didn't end in us shouting at each other. It felt too quiet. Like the quiet before a storm. I couldn't stand the waiting. Not now. Not after what I'd done. So I decide to make landfall.

"You're mad at me."

But Arnook didn't answer. There is no storm. Arnook simply shakes his head, slumping down onto my bed's fur cover. "No I'm not mad at you, Kaya, I'm just..." He sighs.

"Just disappointed?" I suggest.

"No, just... mad at myself."

Now that, I hadn't expected.

I expect it, Even less when my uncle drops his head in his hands and says, "I'm so sorry, Kaya."

I stumble backwards,"Why?" This has to be a trick, to get me to drop my guard. A trick that any moment my uncle will disregard and go for the attack.

"I know you are nothing like my daughter." Arnooks watery blue eyes stray across to the open window, up to the full moon shining through. "Princess Yue was, quiet and pious and dutifully..."

I role my eyes, muttering despite myself, "And everything I'm not. I know, Uncle, so you've told me many times. I'm sorry, I can't compete with my perfect cousin." I  follow Arnooks gaze . "But in my defence, not every girl can turn into the moon..."

At that my uncle almost laughs, but I know there is no joy in the sound, just sorrow. "That's not what I meant."

I sit down next to him on the bed. "Then what did you mean?"

" I meant..." Arnook eyes glisten "you're strong and your wild and your hurting..." I realise there are tears in Arnooks eyes, "Watching you fight today, I finally realised that. I've been so obsessed with the future of our tribe, I never stopped to think what this would mean to you. To be forced an arranged marriage with the ruler of the Fire Nation! One person you would dread most. I understand why you fought. I've been an idiot, Kaya. I've  let your parents and your brother, Nikko, down. Waking up next to Firelord Zuko, to see that face every day, a constant reminder of what your parents endured,  it would have been a waking nightmare for yoy, it would have been toture. I'm sorry, Kaya.
I am so sorry..."

My brow furrows. "So... you're not going to force me to marry the Firelord?"

"You won the Angi Kai, Kaya." My uncle stares back at me, bewildered.

"So it's over?"

"It's over."

I stand. "But what about the alliance?" The words, the reasons that I have heard so many times, rattle off tongue before I can check them. "The marriage! the dowry!  Zuko's enagement trust! You said we needed the Firelord funds to rebuild the tribes."

"We do." Arnook shrugged. "But after today, i doubt Firelord Zuko will be willing to marry anyone from the watertribes."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be." Arnook shook his head agian. "I want to you to be happy, Kaya, and since you feel so strongly about it, marrying Firelord Zuko clearly would have brought you misery. So, we'll find another path." He rested his hands on his knees, " The Northern Watertribe will face hardships this winter, but  we are no stranger to hardship. We have been at war for over 100 years, the road to recovery will be long. But if my nieces happiness means we miss out on a few short cuts, that is the price I'm willing to pay. I'll contact Hakoda in the South watertribe, request the rebuild grants we gave them back. Rebuilding our sister tribe is important, but it will have to wait-"

"No!"  This was wrong. This was all wrong. The one person happiness shouldn't come before thousands.  Admittedly, the options were bleak, but if a fate married to the Firelord brought brought prosperity to this nation, then maybe I didn't have choice. Maybe I never did.  I finally realised, this isn't a choice. I don't care about my honor but I do care about my people. If  I have a shot at giving my nation the means to return to its former glory, i have to take it.  The Firelord is just an unfortunate reality. Somebody has to marry him. If not me, then some other unfortunate Watertribe girl. It's not a fate I would wish on anyone. But I have lived all the hostile conditions this earth has and can throw at me. I have been held in chains in enemy lands. I have  walked through deserts and survived. I can do more than survive now, I can thrive. I have the voice to be heard and with the Fire Nations funds, i could power to make a really difference to the watertribes once all. I have stood up to the Firelord and brought him to his Knees.  Firelord Zuko does not scare me anymore.

"I'll marry him."

"Kaya..." Arnook whinced. "It's a little late for that..."

"But there's still time right? Right?"

Arnook rose from my bed, brushing down the furr covers. He walked over to me, gentling placing his broad hands on my shoulder. He used nickname that I hadn't heard in a very long time. "My little polar bear pup," He smiled and the remain tear drops at the corner of his eyes sparkle. "I'm not going to guilt into marry a man you despise."

"But I want to!!" I shrug off his hand. "I'm ready."

Arnook gaze hardens, I think assessing my argument but turns out it's just my physical  connidition. "You should rest Kaya," He point towards the bed. "You look exhausted, pup."

I already knew that. "Has Firelord Zuko broken off the alliance?"

"Sleep." It was not a command, but it was insistent. "We can talk about this in the morning, after the Firelord has left. Okay Kaya?"

I don't answer. My uncle takes that as answer enough as he turns, leaving me alone in the cool darkness of my chamber and walking back towards the yellow light of the door. Arnook smiles weakly, says goodnight, but just as he begins to close the door shut, I ask; "How is he?"

Arnook looks confused, like for a moment he can't fathom who I could possibly be talking about. "Firelord Zuko?"

I nod. My uncle only looks even more taken-a-back.

I wait.

He finally answers. "Zuko's in a lot of pain, yugoda and the other healers used spririt water to heal the burn you gave him but... he's still hurting. Their taking him back to Fire Nation tomorrow, Hopefully master Kartara will be able to fully heal the wound-"

"-its not the wound that needs healing, its the muscle. Zuko needs physio therapy." I blurt, rambling into my explainition, "When I struck him across that scar, I reactivated the muscle memory of bending trauma. It's the internal muscle that needs treatment. His Chakras must be clogged up worse than a badger-frog swamp with an injury like that. And I probably rammed into a block. That's whats causing the discomfort. I could unblock his Chakra, if I knew which one it was, but I'd need to have a closer look..."

"You want to heal him?"Chieftan Arnook raised his eyebrows. "Now?"

I shrug. "I broke the Firelord after all, Who best to fix him? Besides, aren't you always going on about what a excellent healer I am?"

"Fine." At that, my uncle caputlates. "He's in Yugodas healing hut. Try not to break him any further..." Arnook calls after me, but I'm already running down the corridor towards the healing huts.
I chime back over my shoulder, "No promises!"