A Match of Ice and Fire

Chapter 21: Kaya

I feel awful.

"I'm proud of you, Kaya." Arnook stands behind me before the mirror's reflection. "I want you to know that, no matter what."

In the morning light, I look even more ridiculous. Though it is an expection i have no intention of going along with, it is assumed the Firelords wife will wear the royal Fire Nation robes on the day of our wedding. This is why the tribubal elders decided I should wear the Traditional  Northern Watertribe marriage dress this morning, on the day of on my departure from the tribe.

White feathers flume from my hair, interwoven with an elaborate head dress of shells. Ivory ribbons tie my liliac gown in sickeningly large bows. I feel like I've been gift wrapped. Attached to the bows are the symbolic tide knot braids which hang like pendulums down from my waist . Cicular discs of engraved moon stone and opal, wiegh me down, which combined with the impractical fish-tale hem of this dress, makes it almost impossible to walk without waddling like a penguin. The more I look  at myself in the mirror the more I can't help but marvel at how my cousin did it,  Yue made being a real princess look effortless. In comparison, I am impostor in my own skin. I figit uncomfortably.

"You look beautiful..." Arnook starts.

"Please Don't. I look like someone tried to gift wrap their purple pet seal-penguin."

My uncle laughs and wisely stops trying to persuade me otherwise.

I run a finger round the high neck collar, settling a hand over the bare skin over my chest. The space is designed for Firelords enagement necklace. he'll present it to me today claiming me as his bride for the rest of my life.

"You know, it's still not too late to back out."

I smile weakly at the words.

"By the spirits..." my uncle scruntises my face as I turn to him. "Did you sleep at all last night Kaya?"

  "A little." I lie.

In truth there hadn't been time to sleep. I entered Zuko's healing hut pass midnight and I stayed for nearly four hours. I might have gotten a little carried away with healing his muscles, but after Zuko fell asleep after the first hour, he'd been so peaceful... I'd sort of lost track time studying him.  With the scar on his face obscured in furrs; the gentle slope of his back rising and falling in deep regenerative sleep, the Firelord had simply felt like patient I was treating. And all the time I worked on healing  him, I didn't have to think the marriage I'd agreed to, the implications had for my family. 

On one side; Honnor for my nation. On the other; complete disgrace for everything I and my brother stood for, not to mention, my parents died for.

I don't know why I told Zuko the truth last night. Maybe, it was because he way so delirious on Yoguda's special brew, he wouldn't have remembered anything. Or Maybe it's because i hadn't told the story to anyone in over two years.

 I stopped telling people a few months after I arrived in the Northern Watertribe, every time I do, people here never know what to say. Most of the tribe just started telling me how sorry they were that I'd had to go through that, which just got repeative and painful. But the worst part was the pitying way they looked at me, like some tragic by-product of the war. My Uncle still looks at me that way from time to time. Even my own bother, the first person I told, has never looked at me the same way since. Maybe thats why i told Zuko, became he's the first person in two years who hasn't looked at me like i'm broken. 

"Kaya?" Arnook face drifts back into focus.

"I'll sleep on the boat." 

By the time I'd returned from the hut this morning it was nearly dawn anyway. I thought I might as well start packing. Then the attendants arrived to get me changed into this monsterity...

 I step down from the mirror platform stuffling over to the vanity and lowering the veil down over my face before Arnook can see the dark hollows under my eyes. The sudden movement makes me dizzy. I have to steady myself agianst the vanity's desk to stop from swaying. Two hours sleep the night before, a day long Angi Kai, followed by a night without sleep, combined with all the symptoms the cold which has been racing to catch up with me  ever since my plunge into arctic waters two days ago. It wasn't my best move and the over-tired stage is starting to wear thin.

 the concern in Arnook's voice grows behind me. "Are you sure you're alright, cub?"

But before  he can press any further-

the ice carved double doors slam open of their own accord.

 I whirl j to see a warrior storming through with a scroll in one hand and a jagged sabber in the other. From the white bear headpiece snarling over his face I know instantly which fleet he belongs to; my brother's.

The warrior thrust the scroll directly into Arnooks hands

 Arnook looks down, "what is this?"

The warrior, who I recognise as Nikko's secound in command, Boytan, straightens. 

"General Nikko Arnook sent me head to partition you to cease this alliance. He sails for home this instant to collect his sister whom you are attempting to sell off to the Firelord.  General Nikko writes to remind you, as Princess Kaya's closest living male relative, he is her official guardian and refuses to grant his blessing for sister to marry a tyrant." Boytan delivers the message with a professional  neutrality, but beyond the words i see his eyes are blazing with ice-cold fury. 

Like everyone in my brothers fleet, hatred for the Fire Nation soaks through the ranks, from the bottom to the top.

"What your attempting is treason." Boytan leans closer to snarl at Arnook. "How dare you ally us with the enemy! You're Traitor to this tribe! General Nikko wants to you to know when he gets backs he'll personally hold you countable for this betray! "

Arnook holds firm, as he rejects the scroll thrust into his hands. "The Fire Nation is not our enemy."

Boytan steps back, shaking his head. "Nikko entrusted his sister to you and this is how you repay his faith? By giving Kaya away to same family that enslaved her!"

"Give me the scroll."

still as shocked as a ever a woman can actually speak for herself, Boytan turns to me,  gaze misting in faint confusion. "Princess Kaya?"

"It was decision to marry Firelord Zuko. If my brother has any objections  he may partition me. And just for the record," I say pushing off the vanity. "I'm eighteen, so Nikko isn't my offical guardian anymore." I let the words turn bitter in my mouth. "Still, even if that wasn't the case,  like you said, I was enslaved in the earth kingdom on my own for three years, so pardon me if  don't need babysitter dicating my every descion." 

I hold out my hand, Patience wearing thin. "Give me scroll, Boytan. i won't ask agian. Whatever Nikko has to say, he can say it to me."

Hopelessly, Arnook and Boytan glance between one another. I roll my eyes and snatch scroll. I move the ice underneath both their feet, sliding them out the door. "I'll be sure to take Nikko's concerns into consideration!" I call cheerfully as I slam door in their faces.

Only then, in quiet, leaning agianst my bedroom door do I turn my attention down to the scroll in my hands. 

I still have an hour till I'm expected at  the farewell procession, where I'll board Firelord Zuko's ship, ready disembark for the Fire Nation. The crowds are already building  in the streets. The war band is rehearsing drills in the Winter Gardens. Outside the air is humming with a chorus of  excitement and hope for the future, none of which I feel.

I slump down the ice-carved double doors taking a deep breath to steel myself for the words i know are coming. I unroll the scroll with shaking fingers and begin to read my brother's writting.