A Match of Ice and Fire

Chapter 22: Zuko

I feel amazing. Standing on the prowl of mh royal vessel ready to dismark for home. I haven't felt this good since i woke from my week-long fever in Ba Sing Se. Better, in fact. I feel like I've been in a coma for the past two years of my life without even realising it and now I'm finally wake. Everything feels amazing; the lack of tension between my shoulder blades, the way my neck rolls, the lightness in my head that felt so heavy these past months. I can feel the fire blazing in my veins with so much power I could light up the sky. I close my eyes, inhaling the Pure North Pole air to the full capacity.

"I'm confused..." Uncle Iroh starts agian. "So she told you she hated you, she challenged you to an Angi Kai, she incapacitated you, healed you, and then agreed to marry you?"

I keep my eyes closed and smile up at the dazzling sun. "Pretty much."

"What did you say to her?!"

"Nothing." I say  feeling the warm heat wash over my face. "She asked me if still wanted to marry her."

"AND YOU SAID YES?!" Iroh blurts incrediously but not even  his constant contrayness can ryle me today. I'm more relaxed than I have ever been.

Suddenly, Iroh spins me around and grabs my face, pulling my face down to meet his eyes. "Who are you? and what have you done with my newphew!?"

" I'm right here, uncle!" I laugh  and Iroh squeezes my cheeks tighter.

"Last night, I ..." I try think back but everytime I try to articulate the feeling, i loose the words, "Kaya... freed somthing in me... my Fire-bending...  the pain from my lightening scar... everything inside me feels like it's finally flowing the right way... I don't what she did, but Kaya..." I sigh, "she's amazing..."

Iroh gaze softens as he releases my face. There must have been something he caught in my expression because his smug knowing look returns. I roll my eyes, but even this doesn't seem to brother me this morninh . Iroh grins and the drums begin. I turn to watch the parade crossing the ice palateu.

The Northern Water tribes docks are adorned in purple ribbons, which flutter in the sea breeze. People gather up on the city's walls and brigdes, filtering out onto the streets. Cheers rise as riders in full ceremonial dress ride giant armoured polar bear dogs, waving Watertribe flags high. The riders were followed by a procession of warriors. Horns sound in unision from somewhere further in city. People dance in the streets craning their necks over balconies to get one last glimse of the parade and there, right there, at the centre of it all, is Princess aya.

She walks alone encircled by encourage of eight guards. Chief Arnook rides a few meters behind. There's a vail covering Kaya's face but even from there I can tell how much she's hating this. She looks beautiful, but I imagine she feels ridiculous from way she stomps across the ice tugging at the frothy liliac dress. 

i know I have only known Kaya for three days, but I think that dress in the most Un-Kaya thing I have ever seen.

It strikes me then, looking at the veil across her face, I could of chosen other any Watertribe girl to sail home with today. I still Could. I could still go send for Mina Varrick now, any of the Merchants Duaghters. There's still time to back out of this. To let Kaya go.

At first, I didn't remember much of the conversation last night. When I initially woke up, I didn't even remember the Angi Kai. I'd woken in the healing hut with absolutely no memory of how I'd got there and yet somehow felt completely calm. Watching the mid-morning light filter in through the hut doors. I think I dosed off a couple of times, but my mind was peaceful. Like I knew there were million issues waiting for me back home and probably a fair amount of chaos waiting just outside those doors, but for once the Chaos could wait for me. For once, I didn't have to be the Firelord, the Avatars closest counselor, my uncles protégé, my sisters caretaker, my fathers jailor or my nations only chance for savalation after a century of war.

I could just be me. 

At least, untill my Uncle burst  into the hut panting for breath and panicing about the procession supposed to take place in an hour and demanding how on earth I got Princess Kaya to accept my proposal over night when I was paralysed with pain. I remembered then. Or more accurately, started to. Yuguda's Tea had made every memory of last night like haulling pieces of ship wreck up from the depths. A voice I thought I dreamed echo through my head on repeat, like a half forgotten melody. All the time while i dressed, snippets of the our conversation had haunted me;

"Fire boy..."

Teasing.

"I told you to it was going to hurt, you big Lizard-raptor!"

Taunting.

"You have to try and stay still for me, okay, Zuko?"

Dancing round my mind. 

Kaya's voice faded slowly into focus. Blurry around the edges. Some words came with images; ocean eyes. Sounds; laughter and whispers. Scents; sea salt and peppermint. Feelings; pain and relief.  Others were only the barest skeleton of a phrase strung together in the dark.

"Marry me..."

Hazily I recalled the reasoning she gave me. The choices she'd made. But the more I thought back, the more the words faded in place of a story. Still images in a dream sequence. A lost girl, seprated from her family, sold into slavery, whipped, ruined, freeded but alone, searching baron earth to the sea and on its shore; ashes. Mountains of and mountains of ashes. And bones. the lost girl, digging through piles of bones.

Kaya's last words resound inside my head like a death nel. "Sorry doesn't bring them back."

And I know these words will haunt me for the rest on my life because they're true. Nothing I can say, can bring Kaya's family back. My family has caused so many lost stories like Kaya's. A hundred years worth of lost poeple. I finally understand why Kaya can't stand me. I should let her go. She shouldn't  marry me. None of the girls in this watertribe should, but least of all Kaya. She deserves so much better. So much more that me. I know this. I know it even as she walks up the plank to meet me. And Yet...

And yet, I'm frozen. I'm frozen, because as much as i know sorry will never bring her family  back, i have to hear the end of Kaya's story. I have to make sure it happens again. I can't to do that without her by my side. Or maybe i'm just  frozen because there's a tiny part of me that doesn't want to let Kaya go.

 
Whatever the reason its to late to back out now because Kaya is standing right infront of me and she looks...

Beautiful.