I am Zabrina Fray |Fierce|Strong|Vogue|

8.) When Zee finally is a teenager

The bell rang signaling for lunch time. I went to the café and walk through the sea of people to reach the table that I usually seat now with Cee, Jev, Danes, Athena and the rest of the gang.

"Hi guys, I greeted them, and place my bag to a seat across Jev. "I'm gonna go buy my food first." I was about to turn around when Jeb grabbed a hold of my wrist.

"I already brought you one." He said, and I took my seat without looking at him. Still awkward because of the kiss that happened yesterday.

"Hey, I think you're not telling us something." And this is what I've been thinking, that they will eventually notice the awkward air between us.

"It's nothing." I said and looked at the person across me who was looking at me too. The group was eyeing us suspiciously but didn't dare to speak, afraid that I might burst out again.

*

Later that night, I was left in my room, staring at the bear beside me. Every time

I looked at it, one person managed to come in my mind. Jev.

And just at the thought of him, I can't help but smile and feel the butterflies in my stomach and all.

I tried to gather all my senses and sort out what I felt for him. I even remembered one time when I thought that I was falling for Jev but now I realized that I was wrong, I'm not falling for him.

Because you know what?

I already did fall and I was just scared to admit it. Not that I'm scared to love, but scared that he won't be there catching me as I fall.

I fought against myself if I should tell him about what I felt for him but what if we're not on the same page? I don't want to ruin the friendship that we have. I don't want to lose my friends. I don't want to lose him.

"So what now?" I mumbled to myself. Well, maybe for some of you this isn't even a big deal, this isn't something to be problem out, but for me, it is.

All my life it's my first time to feel like this, it's my first time to feel like I'm already a teenager whose having a 'thing' for someone and I don't exactly know what to do. Fear is holding me back. Fear from being hurt.

I can't afford to do what people usually do in times like this to confess what they felt for someone, just like in the movies that I watched. Because not like in the movies, it's expected to have a happily ever after but then I'm in a real world, a world that is not fair and would never be.

Beside, I also don't agree that in times like this, the girl would be the one to confess. I know I'm in the modern century and I may look like a total b*tch who have all the confidence in my bones, but still I don't want to know the feeling of being rejected, it's a pain to my ego and I don't want to be someone who's desperate to look at.

And lastly, I don't want to be the first one to confess about what I feel towards him because if later on he will start to like me, I don't want to think that it is because of he know what I felt towards him.

"Ugh!" I groaned in frustration while holding a handful of my hair in both hands like some psycho bitch. There's only one solution for this.

Keep calm and act as natural as I can. Remember, I am Zabrina Fray.

______________________________________

Here's a short update guys.

So what you think 'bout our mighty bitchy Zee is afraid of rejection? What 'bout Zee's being afraid to confess because she's a girl?

I need your thoughts guys.

PAphrodite xoxo