Fever Dream Red

36

We moved on from that house almost straight away. We trundled along to the next one, hoping this time it wouldn't have a corpse in it.

Doug volunteered to check first before letting the rest of us in.

"We don't want a repeat of last time." He muttered with a pinch of cynicism. I pretended to not notice it. I didn't enjoy cheap pokes being made at a death of someone who's blood I still wearing. It seemed odly intimate.

As he went in, I gave him the gun. He nodded simply to me in macabre respect. With that, he broke in.

The silence was the worst of it all. The waiting in the silence. The silence fed on our nerves, hungry as hell. We were all terrifically obliging to throw meat at it.

Until Sunny sat down next to me on the curb and almost whispered "What was it like?"

The question threw me off a little. It was in bad taste, I realised that. But I really liked her. I liker her so much so that I answered it with little question.

"Terrible."

Sunny nodded, as if she could ever understand.
"You can see the life going out of them, you know? Like a burnt out candle. And it was me. It was me who did that. Not anyone. Not anyone else. Not nature. Not..."

A pause ensued, Sunny still intently listening. She must've thought I had lost the plot.

"Terrible."
"Terrible." Sunny repeated the words on her tongue, relishing them, tasting them on her tongue for the very first time.

"I'm sorry." Skye shuffles in and looks at me, their eyes seemingly glaring into every inch of my soul.

"It's okay. It wasn't me who died."

I smiled sadly and shook my head, as if trying to escape from there.

Just then a loug gunshot peirced the calm, and we all knew then what had happened. Another soul had left us. Another tear fell down my cheek.

Doug came back looking defeated and upset. He wiped the tears from his face and wordlessy got back into the car.

We all jumped back in and for ages we just drive around. There is nobody anywhere. Just at the odd place or so a body would be sat groaning on the pavement. Doug would go and put the out of their misery like dying deers.

We drove around for ages and ages and ages, until dawn arrived late and the birds began singing their goodbyes to the night sky.

Everybody was wordless. Not a sound broke out.

We were all tired. Doug hadn't said anything since the first killing. None of us had.

Technically, Doug was now a serial killer. He had killed countless people. The man who couldn't stop laughing. The man who was stupid enough to accept Nick's invitation. The man who went out of his way to help his friends. He was now a serial killer. Yet we didn't run away from him.

This was the apocalypse. The world was now so cruel murder was thought of as a saviour. All of those people probably looked at Doug with relief.

To them, Doug was their saviour. He was doing the thing that many other people would be too cowardly to do.

"What are we doing?" Skye asked out of bitterness.

I could tell they were tired with this. I was too, really. This wasn't what I thought it would be. I wanted to live freely and without fear, but I had been traumatised and bored all within a day pf getting out of The Base.

I began pondering if this life really was for me. We could have probably turned around and gone back to Nick and prayed for his forgiveness.

At times I would rather be harshly disciplined by him rather than living for myself.

Maybe keeping us in a pretty prison really was for our own good.

"Saving them." Doug simply answered, his eyes not leaving the road ahead of him.

Another while passed. I got out my bottle of water and drained the whole thing. Sunny watched me do it. There was nothing else going on.

Suddenly the car stopped. Doug sweared elaborately.

Us in the back asked what had happened.

"Fuel ran out." Alfie muttered, his eyes lifeless like a zombie's.

Doug got out and kicked the car. Hard. Alfie got out and held him quietly. The kicking ceased and an overwhelming sense of calm came over Doug. He stopped, and slowly began to cry.

First it was silent. Silent tears ran down his face, painting him with sadness.

Then he started wailing and bawling and screaming, like toddler having a tantrum. Alfie held him silently, offering no consolation because his arms seemed to be enough.

"Why did it have to be me?" Doug cried and cried and cried, until maybe the whole world had heard his wailings.

Then the heavens opened. The sky cried with Doug, the rain drenching Alfie and Doug on the side of the road.

We just watched from inside the car, like children when their parents are having a domestic in the other room.

We daren't say a thing.

Doug and Alfie hug for a long time, slowly swaying to their shared heartbeats.

Then they kissed, and I had to look away. The moment seemed private. I was trespassing into an area I did not belong in.

Skye and Sunny watched open mouthed. I stole a look and they were still at it.

"Christ." Sunny muttered under her breath.
"I didn't know they were-"
"No one did, Skye! Not even me." Sunny snapped, perhaps with a little spite.
"There's a time and a place though, isn't there?" I remarked, trying to make light of perhaps the msot sad situation I had ever been in.
"Not really. It's the end of the world. All social rules have gone out of the window."

I groaned internally. If there was no shame in doing anything anymore, what was to stop people?