I Don't Forgive You

Five

November 4th 2022

"I know I should have called you straight away Maman, but I just needed to breathe for a minute"

"What do you mean you needed to 'breathe for a minute'?"

"Well, It's not easy asking for help and asking you to watch Delilah for a week. It's scary Maman, I've never spent time away from her since she was born."

"I know cherie, but she will be okay. It will be good for both of you. I swear there is no one in the world more alike than the pair of you."

"Thank you Maman, I will see you later."

"See you later Lylah James, and take care of yourself."

As soon as I hung up from my Maman, I threw my phone to the other side of the couch and sighed. I have an amazing relationship with her, especially since Delilah was born but she can be slightly over bearing. I get that she just wants to look after me and Delilah but I'm 21, I have a daughter. I'm not the little girl I used to be anymore. I'm responsible for another life, I have to be able to look after myself and Delilah. I guess sometimes I just need to accept a little help.

"Belle fille, Mamie will be here to pick you up soon. Can you come and help Momie get your things ready?"

Ever since yesterday Delilah hasn't stopped talking about 'our hero' Théo who saved us yesterday, to be honest I haven't stopped thinking about him either. I was going to call him, discuss the date that he mentioned but I chickened out. Instead I sent him a text saying thank you. That was it, 2 words. Thank you. I just can't get the idea of him only being polite out of my head. Why would a handsome man like Théo - who could literally get any girl in the world by the way - want to go on a date with a single mom?

Delilah and I got all of her things ready for the week with her Mamie, she even made sure I packed her favourite teddy who now goes by the name of Théo. I'm hoping Delilah doesn't spill too much gossip to my Maman, as far as she knows it was a stranger who gave us a lift to the hospital and we got a taxi back to the apartment. If there's one thing I know about my Maman it's that she will insist I take Théo up on his offer of a date, she thinks I need a man in my life, that I'll be happier. I know she just wants Delilah to have a father figure, even if he's not her blood.

It wasn't long until I heard the doorbell ring and I began to feel nervous, even slightly emotional. I don't know what I'm going to do without Delilah here, she's literally my whole world. I quickly hobbled off the couch using my crutches and managed to unlock the door to let my Maman enter. "Oh my Lylah James, you've always been the clumsy one." She quickly insults me. "Oh hi Lylah James, how are you feeling? Oh I'm okay Maman the pain isn't too bad, thanks for watching Delilah." I reply to her, sarcasm dripping from every word. My Maman just glares at me before bending down to Delilah. "Are you looking forward to spending the week with Mamie and Papi ma petite cacahuète?" of course she changes her tune when talking to her granddaughter. "YES YES YESS!" Delilah replies back filled with excitement.

20 minutes after my Maman and Delilah had eventually left, after I gave Delilah a million hugs and kisses to make up for the ones I'm going to miss of course. I decided I was hungry, stupidly I attempted to make my way over to the kitchen area of the apartment to try and make myself something to eat. Obviously struggling because of the crutches, I stumbled about 6 times. As soon as I opened the fridge I realised that today is grocery day, but for obvious reasons I won't be able to get them.

I make my way over to the couch to think about my options. I could do absolutely nothing and starve but the foodie in me doesn't think that is the best option. I could always phone my Maman and ask her to come back with some groceries, but the stubbornness in me thinks that's an even worse option. Then my mind goes to a third option, I could phone Théo, but the. But the. I actually can't think of a reason not to phone him, he did offer. - Oh wait, the cowardly, embarrassed, nervous me thinks that he won't even answer and will just block my number.