Partners in Speed - ver.2 (also Street Racers #2)

28. Taehyung

I think about what Wooshik and Jungkook said. I think about what I said. It's a bit easier after what Jungkook has done with my father yesterday. It's all easier. I can't really take anything he's ever said seriously. So I think about my life in a different way than usual.

What I said is true – I don't, and never wanted to do anything else than I do. I've never done anything against myself, even if my family hated it. Because I knew those things were right. They were right for me, even if they didn't think so.

I don't want to be like Jungkook, I don't want to find things that make me 'better'. I want to be happy. I want to be at peace with myself. This has always been the actual problem. My relationship with myself. The way I saw myself. I've never looked at myself through my own eyes, but my parents'.

Wooshik said it. You believed the shit your family told you. Perception is what makes you conflicted.

So... maybe I'm not as bad as I believed to be.

In the best case scenario, maybe I'm pretty cool, after all.

I have yet to see it, but who knows? One day.

Packing up my phone to text Wooshik, I scroll a bit through our messages. Flirting. A lot of flirting. A lot of random texts throughout the day. He likes to text me about anything and everything, like 'I just saw the coolest car' or 'What coffee do you drink?' or 'I just woke up' at 3 p.m. I like when he does that.

He sends me a lot of his drawings, too.

I scroll to the bottom again and text: I want to go to Daegu.

Until he answers, I lie with my face in the pillow. Can I drive your car?

Never said I want you to go with me.

You don't have to say it.

You can drive my car. But only if you take us there in thirty minutes.

.................. I know I'm amazing, but you're asking for too much.

Fine. Fifty five minutes.

That will do.

Before 8 p.m., I pull up into a fancy-looking apartment complex. He's renting a place here for now, and I'm starting to wonder how long he's going to stay in Seoul. I'm starting to wonder about many things now that it occurred to me he doesn't actually live here, yet he's staying here because of me. What is actually happening between us? What if he comes back to Daegu? What do I want? What if he's not serious? Am I serious?

A knock on the window pulls me out of my head. It's not time to be thinking about all of it. I feel good with him, that's all I want to care about now.

When I get out of the car, Wooshik holds his hand out, waiting for the keys.

"Fifty five minutes," I say. "If you don't make it, you can't drive it ever again."

"Deal."

I like being on the passenger's seat when he's driving. It's something different to what my whole life used to be like. I always drove. Of course, I didn't have anyone to drive me around ever since I got my first car.

Road trips are a whole different experience depending on whether you drive or not.

"What do you think of Taylor Swift?" I ask, scrolling through different songs to play. I've never found talking with people easy. I wasn't much of a talker before... well, Wooshik. And Jungkook. It's nice, though. With the right person, it's nice.

"You're asking because I'm gay?" he asks.

"Yes. I don't actually know any other gays, you know?" I say. "I'm curious if it's a universal experience to like Taylor Swift."