Partners in Speed - ver.2 (also Street Racers #2)

bonus scene 3

Taehyung

(when Taehyung has one of his worse days)

Work's exhausting today. I have those days sometimes, every once in a while, where I can't stop thinking about things I don't want to be thinking about. Like my parents, or Hyun. I try to focus on work, and I'm worried he'll walk through the door. Or I start thinking about my life in the past and it makes me feel all sorts of things. Sometimes sad, sometimes overwhelmed, sometimes everything all at once.

It usually happens when both Jungkook and I are too busy to see each other during the day. Even though we're, like, a garage away. When I don't see him every few hours, it all feels like the past.

At some point, he knocks on the door to my garage. "You okay?"

"Yeah, why?"

"You zoned out," he says.

"I'm fine. Just thinking a lot. About... everything."

"Wanna talk?"

"Not really. It's all messy."

"Alright. If you need anything, call me. I'm going home."

"It's six already?" I glance around at the mess I've made today. "I'll finish this car and go home, too."

I do finish, though it takes me another hour. I clean up the mess, close up, get in the car and drive back. I really want to be back home already.

As soon as I open the door, Wooshik is in the hall, pacing.

"You're late. And you weren't answering texts."

Closing the door, I toe my shoes off. "I'm sorry. I didn't check my phone."

I try to walk past, but he wraps an arm around me. "Everything alright?"

"I don't know yet. I'm gonna shower, okay?"

He kisses my cheek. "Okay."

I don't like those days. There is too much past in my head, and I tend to forget how good the present has become. I try to calm down in the shower, try to focus on the present, but I think it makes it all worse.

Because as soon as I'm dressed in clean clothes, leave the bedroom and find Wooshik in the kitchen, I wrap my arms around him, rest my head on his shoulder and fight away tears.

"What are you doing?" I ask.

He looks back at me, probably realizing I sound weird and choked up. "Hot chocolate."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Can you make me some?"

"Why do you think I'm making it?" He chuckles. "I'll try. I've never made it myself."

"You watched me make it."

"I watched you making it. I watched you, Taehyung. Not what you were doing."

Letting out a laugh, I put my head back on his shoulder and close my eyes. Five minutes with him back home and I'm already better.

I listen to him get everything ready, and my throat hurts. While I'm slowly mentally back to the present moment, to the life I live now, the past is... haunting. I feel like it's haunting me all the time. Sometimes I just lose against it.

"Can you... wait a minute?" I force out, holding his arm, making him turn around.

Wrapping my arms around his waist, I stuff my face into his neck and cry.

He holds me tight, running his fingers up and down my back. "I'm here."

"Mhm."

"It's all going to be okay."

"I'm just-" I sniffle. "Sad. And- and overwhelmed."

"Been thinking a lot, huh?"

"Yeah. Kind of."

"Okay. Cry it out. I'm with you."

When there is nothing else I can cry out, I move back. "Sorry. I've held it in for the whole day."

I try to dry my face, but he moves my hands down and does it himself. "Nothing to be sorry for, okay?" Holding my cheeks, he kisses both of them. "Let me finish this and we'll do whatever you want."

"Whatever I want?"

"Just say a word."

Not feeling as heavy anymore, I glue myself to his back again, as he finishes the hot chocolate. This time I watch him do it, and it's easier to remember this is my reality now, not the past. Crying is a funny thing.

"Sometimes I forget this is my life," I say. "I get stuck in my head, thinking about the past, and it all seems so real. And I forget that it's all gone now. But then I come back to you. On days like this it feels like heaven to come back home."

He fills two dino-mugs with steaming hot chocolate that smells like yet another heaven, but leaves them on the counter and turns to face me. Brushing my hair away, he kisses my forehead.

"On days like this, if you're not at home, you can call me. Or tell me to come around."

"I didn't want to tell you," I say. "I thought it sounds weird that I forget this is my life now."

He shakes his head. "I know things before were difficult. I know it must be difficult to move from. I want to be here for you when it's difficult, okay?"

"Are you perfect or just in love with me?"

"Both."

"Yeah, of course."

"What? You doubt any of these two?"

"No, absolutely not." I wrap my arms around his neck, leaning closer. "I want a kiss before the chocolate."

"Only one kiss?"

"No, a lot. But not too many. It's hot chocolate, not lukewarm."

"Whatever you want," he says and kisses me. It's a soft kiss, comforting.

"You're spoiling me. Why do I always get what I want?" I mumble between the kisses.

"If I could bring you the world, it'd be in your hands already. Everything you ask for," he says and I get overwhelmed again. In a different way, this time.

"But why?"

"Because I love you? Because you deserve it? Because I want you to be the happiest?"

How is this real? How is this my life? Sometimes it's so obvious, and sometimes, like today, I still can't believe it. I can't believe things got better. I can't believe that things got so incredible.

He makes up for all those years I wanted to but didn't feel loved.

"I love you," I say, before pressing my lips against his one more time.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah?"

He's careful when he asks, "Have you thought about therapy?"

"I'm alright, I don't think I need it. I only feel like that sometimes."

Brushing my hair out of my face, he says, "If you ever feel like you need it, let me know. It's okay if you do."

"Okay," I say. "Can I get my chocolate now?"

"You wanted kisses," he says, handing me my mug. "Not that I'm complaining. Absolutely not."