Partners in Speed - ver.2 (also Street Racers #2)

SR 9. Wooshik

At this point, I'm physically restraining myself from building an entire future with Taehyung, like, within the next week. Because I'm scared of scaring him away. And I can no longer think about this by myself. I need a kick. A punch. A push. Something. But not from Sue. She's probably had enough of hearing about this, anyways.

Plus... I don't know. She doesn't know Taehyung. And I can't only take myself into consideration.

And there's someone else I can talk to. Someone who's been feeling a lot more like a best friend to me recently. I've been thinking about the whole 'best friend' phrase. Sue is and will be a best friend to me, always. But she's always going to put Garam above me, as a partner and best friend. Which I'm okay with. When we became a trio, I found comfort in being 'their' friend. It was no longer me and Sue, but them and me. Which, again, is fine. I liked it, because I knew I wouldn't stay in Daegu forever, and when Garam joined us, I didn't feel the impending doom of leaving Sue alone one day.

But the meaning of 'a best friend'. Someone you're comfortable with. No, insanely comfortable. Someone you'd talk to just about anything. Someone who's there for you at any minute of the day – as much as possible at least.

It's pretty personal, though. For me, a best friend is someone I'd cry around. Someone I'd talk about my feelings to. Someone I have things in common with. Someone I feel safe with. Someone I don't mind being hugged by. Hugging and crying and talking feelings have always been strange things to me. Especially hugging. To this day, I've only ever hugged Sue. (Also Taehyung, but he doesn't count in this discussion).

And, well, Jang Yeeun, who I suppose is becoming my best friend. Which I'm finding a lot of joy in, considering the sense of belonging I've already found with them.

It all started when she asked me to be her "criminal side-kick". I found it so fucking ridiculous then that I agreed immediately. She was the one updating me daily on their mess with Park Jimin. In the past month, after it was all over, we've been simply hanging out. Talking a lot more.

With Yeeun, it's not only all of the best friends criteria I came up with, but also belonging somewhere. And, well, she knows Taehyung. That's why I'm on her couch now. I love their couch. It's out of this world. Second best to the one in Taehyung's garage.

I was on their couch when I came here. Now, to make it as chaotic as the first time we spent time together, I'm cutting her fringe. She's on the chair in the middle of the room, and I'm in front of her, feeling like a professional hairdresser.

"I want to be moving forward, but I don't wanna go too fast."

"Moving forward? As in?" she asks, eyes closed as I brush her wet hair down her face.

"Well, for example, living together." I sigh. "What about you, though? You've only moved in together like... a couple months ago."

Yeeun smiles. "Don't compare yourself to me. It's way more advanced than this. I've known Jungkook since forever. He spent a lot of time at my place as a kid. Then we got our own apartments, because we were best friends. Not dating or anything. Which now... I'm not sure why we didn't move in together then. I guess I was scared of falling in love with him."

"Why did it take you so much time?"

"I didn't realize I loved him until high school," she says. "I was always scared of loving him. My parents were best friends first, then they fell in love. And then they fell apart. I could never live with the idea of losing Jungkook. I was... crazy about him from the beginning."

I don't think fast is bad. I don't think putting relationships in a time perspective makes sense. There's no set scheme to build relationships – romantic or platonic. Feelings are unpredictable. Bonds are unexplainable and sometimes instant. You'd think two people need ages to get to know each other and fall in love, but they don't. Not all of them. You can neither define love nor put it in time constraints.