Red Blooded

Chapter 7 - Killed off but still alive

I had all the means necessary to make a great escape. I owned my own jet for crying out loud. Yet, when I was given instruction by Hilary to meet me at her future in laws house, I almost found myself drawn to New Hampshire - almost.

After Hilary and Hayden left, Sam was left to cheer me up when I fell into a horrid mood. He failed to cheer me up. Chocolate failed to bring a smile too. It wasn't for lack of effort on my part, I just couldn't make myself feel anything but disgust and horror when I kept thinking that I had just summoned myself to death - because that was surely what it would feel like to go back to that place - like death.

As Friday loomed closer and closer, I started to have mini panic attacks whenever I was on my own. Sam left me alone to catch up on work most days and I found myself having to regain conscious thoughts about what I was going to do to myself.

I mean, it shouldn't have been a surprise. I should have realized that I would have to come face to face with them, the dogs.

But I would do it anyway. If it meant that I could be maid of honor for my best friend, I would be there. God only knew that she was going to need it. Last time she was going to get married - it was to Tom.

He died.

Tom died, leaving Hilary more than devastated. She was a wreck. That was why she left to go travelling - because she couldn't deal with life anymore. She just decided to pack in her job as my insight analyst, and left to go travelling.

I have to admit, it was selfish of her. Really selfish of her.

Especially since Tom was the one that had killed Marc.

I was hurting too!

I was grieving too. The pain nearly damn killed me when I arrived at the hospital to find him still, cold on a slab.

DUI - Tom had driven under the influence and had managed to get driven off the road and down an embankment. Marc died instantly. Tom survived long enough to get to the hospital.

Hilary left me anyway! Her fiancé killed the love of my life but all she cared about was her own grief, and not my own!

But still, I made Tom a promise on his deathbed; I promised I would always be there for her.

And I always would be.

A pinch on my arm snapped me out of my daze. I looked to the side and found Eric making weird eye gestures at me.

"What?" I mouthed, conscious that we were in a meeting room full of employees.

Eric rolled his eyes and turned to the boardroom. "I think this meeting is over. Leave your notes behind. Send Em your reports, and Mary, can you speak to HR please."

Shoot.

I had just dozed off in a meeting. With a grimace, I realized that all the members in the room looked at me, waiting for my dismissal. That was why Eric had pinched me - because I had dosed off.

"Leave." I breathed, not offering more words. Thirteen men and three women rose from the chairs and left hurriedly, placing green folders in a neat pile in front of Eric.

When the last person left and shut the door, Eric regarded me with a quizzical look.

"Spill the beans, Beans. What's going on," he pushed my head slightly with his left forefinger, "in that head of yours?"

I sighed.

I couldn't tell Eric. He was more protective than Hilary was. I loved Eric for that. He was the big brother I deserved.