His Virgin Stripper

19

Unti-unti akong lumapit sa sasakyan na nakatapat sa akin. Mabagal ang lakad ko. Hindi dahil dramatic, kundi dahil kinakabahan talaga ako. The car wasn't tinted enough, kaya kitang-kita ko siya sa loob.

Nakatingin siya diretso sa gate. Hindi man lang ako nilingon kahit alam kong nakita niya na ako sa peripheral niya. His jaw was tight. Yung kamay niya nasa manibela, hindi gumagalaw. Base sa mukha niya, galit siya.

Kumatok ako sa bintana niya.

Doon lang siya lumingon.

Our eyes met and doon ko talaga naramdaman kung gaano siya kasakit.

Ilang buwan lang kaming nagsama pero parang kilalang-kilala ko na siya. I know his expressions. And this one... this was him holding himself back.

Binaba niya ang bintana.

"What did you want from me?" diretso niyang sabi. Walang pag-aalala. "After disappearing, you have the audacity to come to me telling me you need me?"

Parang sinampal ako.

Gusto kong sumagot agad pero natuyo lalamunan ko. Kasi tama siya. Bigla na lang akong nawala. Wala man lang paliwanag. And now I'm here, asking for help like I didn't leave him first.

"I need to confess everything to you," I said, forcing the words out kahit nanginginig ang boses ko. "And... and I hope you listen to me."

Patuloy niya lang akong tinitigan at nag aantay ng kasunod.

"I know I don't deserve it," I added, swallowing hard. "Pero please. Just hear me out. After that, you can decide what you want to do with me."

"Get in" malamig ang tono niya.

Hindi na ako sumagot. Umikot ako papunta sa kabilang pinto, mabagal ang kilos ko kasi hindi ko alam kung tama ba 'to. Pag-abot ko sa handle, hindi ko pa nahahawakan nang maayos, bigla itong bumukas.

Napatingin ako.

Nakatayo na pala siya sa labas.

Hindi ko man lang namalayan na nakalabas siya ng kotse. He moved that fast. Binuksan niya ang pinto para sakin, pero hindi 'yon sweet. Hindi 'yon tulad ng dati.

He didn't look at me right away. One hand on the door, the other inside his pocket.

"Get in," he repeated, this time lower.

Lumunok ako at pumasok sa loob. Ramdam ko ang presensya niya sa likod ko bago niya isara ang pinto. The sound echoed louder than it should've.

And for some reason, mas lalo akong kinabahan ngayong magkatabi na kami.

Pumasok na siya ng kotse. He was silent and I was silent because I do not know how to start. Do I tell him about my real identity as well?

He started the engine pero hindi agad umalis. Nakatingin lang siya sa harap. Ako naman, hindi ko alam kung saan titingin. Sa dashboard? Sa kamay ko? Sa kanya?

Ang daming gustong lumabas sa bibig ko pero walang mauna.

Do I tell him about my real identity too? Sabihin ko na ba lahat? Ngayon na?

Hindi pa. Hindi ko kaya sabay-sabay.

I had a plan. Sabihin ko muna tungkol sa anak namin. Then I'll explain the situation. Kailangan naming mag-agree muna sa terms ng mga Cuerva habang nag-iisip kami ng paraan. Temporary lang. To keep my Aero safe.

Oo. That sounds like a solid plan.

Huminga ako nang malalim.

"We have a child," bulgar ko.

Hindi ko na pinaganda. Hindi ko na inikot.

I watched his head snap from the windshield to me, parang may sumabog sa loob ng kotse. I watched how his grip tightened on the steering wheel. How his brows furrowed and how his jaw clenched.

He certainly didn't expect this.

"Celestine, don't fuck with me right now," mahinahon niyang sabi pero ramdam mo ang galit sa ilalim. "Seven months lang mula nung huli kitang nakita. Tapos sasabihin mo may anak tayo? You have a damn flat stomach. How do you expect me to believe you?"

Hindi siya sumigaw. Mas nakakatakot 'yon. Parang pinipigilan niya ang sarili niya na may masabi pang mas masakit.

Natakot ako. Hindi dahil galit siya. Kundi dahil hindi niya ako pinaniniwalaan.

Ramdam ko na agad ang kirot sa dibdib ko bago pa tumulo ang luha. Hindi ko napigilan. One tear, then another.

"Almost eight months," mahinang sagot ko. "Nanganak na ako. He was premature."

Hindi ko na kayang tumingin sa kanya nang direkta pero pinilit ko pa rin.

"My parents kept me away from you. Ayaw nilang malaman ng kahit sino na nabuntis ang 'perfect daughter' nila." Napangiwi ako sa salitang perfect. "They blackmailed me. They said they'd hurt me. Hurt my baby and I was scared."

Huminga ako nang malalim pero nanginginig pa rin ang boses ko.

"The day I found out I was pregnant, I called you. I called you so many times." Tumingin ako sa kanya. "You didn't answer. Not once."

Masakit sabihin, pero totoo 'yon.

"That's when I thought... maybe you didn't want us. So I stopped. I let them take control. I let them decide everything."

I wiped my cheeks with the back of my hand, pero tuloy pa rin ang luha.

"I'm only eighteen, Elijah. They threw so much at me. Threats. Lies. Plans. I couldn't think straight." Napahinto ako sandali. "I gave birth early because of stress. Because I was scared every single day."

Tahimik ulit ang kotse.

At ngayon, wala na akong maitatago kundi ang totoong ako.

"Elijah, I'm begging you. Please... help me save our baby. They're keeping him away from me."

Tears rolled down my cheeks and I couldn't stop them. Wala na akong ibang maipakita kundi ang katotohanan.

He stared at me, jaw tight, hand on the wheel.

"They're keeping him away from you?" he asked.

"Yes," I whispered. "They're using him to control me."

He paused, rubbing his face, exhaling slowly. Then he asked, "How old is he?"

"Two days old," I said. "He's premature."

The words hit him. I could see it in the way his grip on the wheel tightened.

"Where is he?"

"With them," I said quietly.

"Your parents?"

I nodded.

He leaned back, thinking, silent for a moment. When he spoke again, his tone was steady. "Get your seatbelt on."

I froze. "Elijah—"

"If what you're saying is true," he said, eyes sharp on the road, "then no one keeps my son from me. And if they think they can use him to threaten you, they just made the biggest mistake of their lives."

"No, not like this, please. We have to think of something before we could act rashly"

"What? My child is probably in danger and you ask me to wait?" Sagot niya.

He didn't think of anything else but drove the car. I refused to give him the address but he still managed to find it. There he was furious.

He wanted to save our baby and that's what I'm grateful for.