His Virgin Stripper

33

EEV

How do you define love?

Is it something that hits you softly over time?

Or something that feels like it crashes into you without warning?

Is lust part of it?

Or is it something completely separate that we just keep confusing for love when we don't know ourselves well enough yet?

And more importantly...

Is there really someone meant for you?

Someone already decided by fate, or is that just something people say when they don't want to take responsibility for their own feelings?

That night, I was at a private gathering filled with people who owned companies, networks, names I had only ever seen on headlines.

Everything felt loud but controlled at the same time.

I was drinking, not heavily, just enough to blur the edges of my thoughts.

That was when I saw her.

She wasn't trying to be noticed.

She didn't need to.

She just walked past, and somehow everything else in the room stopped mattering for a second.

I remember thinking I didn't even know her name, but my mind already refused to let her go.

Was that lust?

Or was it just the brain reacting to beauty it didn't expect?

I didn't know.

And I hated that I didn't know.

I asked someone about her after that, and all I got was a name.

Celestine Cuerva.

That was enough to make her feel even further away from me.

Days passed.

But she didn't leave my head.

Not once.

It was frustrating in a way I couldn't explain.

Because I wasn't used to thinking about someone that much without understanding why.

So I did what I always did when I didn't understand myself.

I went out.

I ended up at a bar I usually went to when I wanted silence without being alone.

And that's where I saw her again.

Not as someone passing by.

But someone real.

She was dancing gracefully.

It looked more like she was trying to lose something inside herself rather than impress anyone watching.

And I remember thinking—

I want her.

Not just in the way I first thought.

But in a way that made me want to stay.

To understand her.

To know what kind of life leads someone to move like that.

I asked for her.

She came.

"That depends." 

 "On what?" she asked, not showing signs of nervousness. 

 I know she is though. That tiny lips of hers. 

 "On you." I said.

 She looked like a stone that's been buried. She looked sad though. 

 "And what if I give you something?" Her voice softer this time.

 "In exchange for your silence." 

 And what is she offering?

 I took a step closer. "Be mindful, Celestine. You might not like what you just offered." 

 Instead of giving in, I left her instead. 

She became my personal stripper but that wasn't how I saw her. 

I saw her as my wife but she was wilder than I expected. 

I love this woman but I think she just uses me for money and thats fine. 

I stopped knowing if I was chasing her or trying to understand what she awakened in me.

I told myself it was attraction at first.

Just something temporary.

Something I would eventually get over.

But it didn't fade.

It stayed.

And it changed shape.

Then she stopped coming.

At first I just thought she forgot. I received bunch of missed calls and tried to return them but it looked like I was blocked.

I stalked her.

I waited outside her house but she never came out.

I was giving up.

But when I was about to give up, she called and that was months after.

Truth after truth after truth and I just know she's tired.

With a baby in danger, her real identity exposed and more hurtful words from her family. I set aside my anger towards her and chose to stand beside her instead.

I did not know how to feel after knowing everything. All I thought of was being able to support and understand her and her story.

To be the man she can lean on.

To love her endlessly.

Forever.

I wanted to marry her and give her the happiness she deserved.

I got her a ring right after our son was out of the hospital.

He was 3 months now and can survive without being inside his incubator.

I led her inside the house I bought for us. They say we should have a fresh start and this is me trying.

I took Aero from her and placed him on his bassinet.

"Valerie, my love." I reached her resting hand on the bassinet.

"I am kneeling in front of you, letting you know  that I love you. That I want to spend the rest of my life to be stuck with you. ANd I would love to know if  you would allow me to be your husband" NIlabas ko ang singsing sa bulsa.

I looked at how her eyes lit up.

"Don't make me cry. Of course! I would love to be your wife" She wrapped her hands around me and kissed me on the lips.

That's when I know my life won't be all business anymore. 

I questioned love and now I am experiencing love.

 Love isn't the rush of attraction or the pain that follows when things don't work out. It is not something you can force.

It's what's left when things calm down, the steady care, respect, and choosing someone's well-being even when the excitement fades.

Lust is not love.