How long will it take for people to notice I'm upset? when will they see through my fake smile and dull eyes? I don't think anyone ever will. I hide it too easily. but only a few will tell from how I act. People don't see that I put myself before them and I don't care about how I feel. If I'm in pain or not. I have scars from all the pain but who knows.. there might be more. Hurt everyday but by different people.. they don't realize they hurt me because I try not to show emotion towards it. No one understands me.. heh.. I barley understand myself.. so I can't blame them. I just want to stop being hurt. And have people see the real me.. that's not hurting and not wanting to go away. I will always feel lonely and unwanted.. yeah I have a boyfriend and I love him deeply. But he doesn't even know how I feel about myself and the battles I go through everyday.. I smile around my friends since I'm having fun and making them laugh but when I'm not it's a fake smile. But I guess it works since people don't see its fake.
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Can this be like this?
RandomFighting everyday but never helps.. alone in the world and no one will ever notice. Invisible to others and fight depression more than I should. Days I just want to end it all. But then I can't from my friends. I can't leave them.. but I want to. I...
