On Your Side !¡ GeminiFourth (Read Desc)

03 - sit

fourth's pov

it was now Tuesday. I didn't sleep at all. literally. I got up and got dressed. I was barely even keeping my eyes open. why is it that when I'm standing, I want to sleep. but when I'm lying down I don't. weird.

I brushed my teeth and looked in the mirror. I started tearing up a little, why? was I hungry? I don't think I was.

I looked at my hair and sighed shakily. I tried messing with it. I ruffled it, I brushed it out, I even put gel in it. but nothing worked. nothing made me look like how I wanted to. I just brushed the dried out gel off my hair and put my hair down like the day before. literally Infront of my eyes.

I wasn't even trying to make the uniform look good. I didn't tuck it in like everyone else. I always wore a jacket over it cause- well, I can't say. and I never did my hair in the mornings cause I was too drained to even open my eyes. I kept staring at myself. "I'm a mess" I said, looking at the mirror, inspecting my body, my face, hair, outfit, legs, arms, hands. everything.

I wasn't the standard. girls these days want muscular guys with cleaned up hair. strong legs, strong arms. veiny, strong hands and so much more that I don't have. it's not like I want girls to ask me out but still. a girl wouldn't even want to like me. a girl wouldn't even accept getting paid a godly amount of money to just ask me out. I'm nobody's type.

I teared up a little bit more until I basically started crying. my eyes get red and swollen when I cry. I don't know why. maybe genetic.

why was I crying at 7am? why was I having a mental breakdown at 7am, why was I hyperventilating at this time, I'm supposed to be out for school. I'm not supposed to be crying like a baby. I sat down on the floor and continued to cry. putting my knees up and putting my face in between them.

I was sitting there, crying for ten minutes. my eyes were bloodshot red. like I'd been crying for years. I got up quickly and took my bag, my face still wet and my eyes still teary. I ran outside, put on my shoes and ran to school.

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my first class was math. the teacher apparently switched the seating arrangement and now I sit with gemini. atleast I don't sit with someone who acts like I stink.

I was sitting there, scribbling in my notebook when gemini looked at me. "hey fourth are you okay?" he asked me and I looked up at him, forgetting my eyes were red. "yeah I'm ok." I said and he looked at me, stunned. "are you high?" he asked and I smiled. "what?" then I realised. I quickly looked away and my smile faded. I could feel his eyes on me.

I put my hand up, the sleeve of my jacket slightly dropping at the same pace of my heart. "yes fourth?" the teacher said and I put my hand down. "may I go to the restroom?" I asked. that was the first time I've asked this year. she said yes and I left.

I went to the bathroom and went into a stall, where I let out the loudest breathe I think I've ever let out. I was breathing heavily, and rubbing my forehead. 'shit. now he's gonna think I'm weird.' I thought. I rubbed my chest a bit and calmed myself down, scratching my chest in a way. I then got out and saw someone. gemini?

he turned around and looked at me. "hey are you okay? really though." he asked and I looked at him, almost breaking down. "yeah I'm fine." I said in a shaky voice and then I smiled a bit. "fourth, seriously." he said and I just looked at him, my smile dropped. my eyebrows dropped. basically my whole face dropped. it was like hell.

"I- I don't know anymore." I said and the taller boy looked at me, confused. "you can tell me." he said. he sounded so sincere. "but we have class." I said and he shrugged his shoulders. "I don't care. I want you to tell me what's wrong. if you don't want to right now I'm always free." he said and I got confused.

how did he. a popular guy from school want to comfort me?

"I'm probably bothering you. plus we got to know eachother like two days ago." I said and he nodded. "okay. I won't force you to tell me. just tell me when you're ready." he said and left the bathroom. I was behind him.

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shorter chapter and honestly I hate it. too angsty for geminifourth but I think we all need some angst in our lives.