Rush List (Dalia's P.O.V.)

Sarah

"How could they!" I scream while throwing a pillow onto the bed. "Are they insane? Did they think we would never find out?!"

I can't explain how mad I am right now. It's a type of rage I have never felt before, a mix of betrayal and disappointment. How were we so blind? We were a joke, just a joke, I am ...

Just a name...

Have you ever felt stupid? Stupid to levels that you are not able to comprehend? My mind is racing with so many thoughts I don't even have time to understand half of them. It's like everything I knew crumbled so quickly, the one person I loved, just used me... as a sign of his prepotency.

"Estos malditos hijos de su buena madre, who do they think they are doing this?!" I look at Diego's nightstand, his bed, the little polaroid of us in his mirror... Everything hurts now. Everything that used to make me happy just carves a deeper hole. Like putting salt on a new wound.

"This can't be," Kay says calling my attention "This isn't Derek, he hates all of this fraternity stuff you know that he's not into all of this" she waves her hands around as if it would make it all true. "he's never been into this"

I don't know what's worst, acceptance, or denial. In the 7 stages of grief, It's hard to tell which one hurts more, all of them have their own kind of pain and right now, we are in different stages, but equally hurt.

I walk towards her grab her arm that's holding the list and lift it up to our faces. "This. Is. Real" Those words sound full of resentment, but it's not only against him but more against myself for not realizing earlier... "And I'm going to get answers NOW" I head to the door imagining all the ways possible to torture slowly and painfully. Preparing myself to get answers that I will not like.

"Wait Dalia!" she grabs me before I can reach the door "If this is true... they won't admit it, they hid this from us for over a year. They will make something up and we will never find out the truth" I feel my eyes watering up again.

I will not cry for him, I will not cry for him. I will not...

"Believe me or not. I do like you. I don't care what your little head, makes you think little lady"

His words jump around in my head, what he said when I refused to believe that he liked me. Ugh, what an Idiot. I knew I shouldn't have believed him. "Okay, then what do we do?" my voice comes out shaky, almost as a whisper. As I try to retain my composure.

A knock on the door interrupts Kay's response.

"Hey, you girls you decent?"

"It's Diego" I whisper in a panicked voice as I feel my heart rate going up. Breathing it's heavy. Ten times heavier than before.

"We have to act normal okay; do you hear me?" Kay says quickly in a hushed tone. "No, Diego we're still getting ready!" Kay shouts back.

"Ok, just wanted to let you know that we're back. Dalia, I'm really sorry about leaving you with the mess but I brought you your favorite! Chocolate-covered raisins so that you'll forgive me" he says in a sweet apologetic voice.

I close my eyes as I breathe deeply and slowly. He brought me chocolate-covered raisins, his voice sounds so sweet, I almost believe it. Believe me, I want to forgive you... I want to forgive you so badly. But is what you're asking sincere... at all?

"Oh, Diego she's in the bathroom but we will be out soon, and you can do that apology again because she definitely needs to hear it after dealing with that mess" Kay responds trying to sound normal, which she does.

"Noted, thanks Kay see you downstairs" his footsteps are getting far, and I sigh.

"Thank you" I say running my hand thru my face.