Call It What You Want: Taylor Swift + Joe Alwyn

two

July 2016

Today was Tom and I's two month anniversary.

I woke up early, but for some reason I couldn't get myself to fall back asleep. I glanced over at Tom, who was still fast asleep next to me. I smiled at him as he snored and laid my head onto his chest. Sometimes I hated this man, but most of the time I really really loved him.

Our relationship was only getting stronger every day. We would fight every now and then, but that was mostly because of me doing something stupid, and I was working really hard on trying to be a better girlfriend.

Tom must've felt me lay on top of him, because he wrapped his arm around me and kissed the top of my head.

"Good morning baby, happy two months." Tom smiled and planted a soft kiss onto my lips.

"You too!" I replied, running my fingers through his hair.

"Did you get me a present?" Tom asked, followed by a yawn.

I didn't really know why the first thing that came to his head was whether I got him a present or not, but it didn't matter, because I did get him something, and I was proud of it.

"Of course! You want it now?" I asked smiling up at him.

"Mmm can I stay in bed for this present?" Tom laughed as he sat up.

"Yes you actually can! I'll be right back."

I leapt out of bed, and grabbed the guitar that sat in the corner of Tom's bedroom.

"Oh you... wrote a song?" Tom questioned as I sat down cross legged on the bed.

"Yep! I really like it, I think I want to put it on my next album! You ready?" I smiled as I placed the capo onto the second fret.

Tom slowly nodded and I begun to play the song.

My fingers strummed the guitar as I sung about who I was convinced was the love of my life. I couldn't stop smiling as I sung it, I was so happy to finally sing this for Tom, I'd been working really hard on it for the past few weeks.

As I slowly strummed the last chord of the song, I looked up at Tom expecting him to be smiling, but I was met with a blank face.

"Did you like it...?" I asked timidly, he didn't look like he enjoyed it, so maybe I didn't really want him to answer.

"I... I did! It was good baby!" Tom slightly smiled, but I wasn't convinced.

"You hate it don't you..."

"It was, um, it was a good song. I just thought maybe, cause you write songs all the time, I thought maybe you would have actually bought me something...?"

"Oh... well I put a lot of effort into writing this for you-

"I'm sure you did! But you have all the money in the world so... maybe, buy me something next time. I'm gonna go start making breakfast." Tom kissed the top of my head and went out to the kitchen.

I placed the guitar gently on the floor, leaning against the bed, and got up and went to the bathroom. I could feel tears stinging my eyes, and when I looked in the mirror those tears became obvious. They started to fall one by one down my cheeks.

I really thought he would like that I'd written him a song. I really thought I had done something that would finally make him happy. But no, I was still ruining everything. I just couldn't seem to do anything right.

I looked down at my phone, and opened the notes page where I had written down all the lyrics for this song I had written, then deleted the entire thing. If Tom didn't like the song, no one else would.