Call It What You Want: Taylor Swift + Joe Alwyn

twelve

"Taylor! How are you sweetheart?" My mom answered, I could hear her smile through the phone.

"I'm uh... I actually... have a lot to tell you." I started as I laid down in my bed. I don't even remember getting into bed, but this entire night has been a blur, I'm not really sure what's been real and what was in my awful nightmare.

"Oh really? What's going on?" She asked curiously.

"Well... I'm uh... I'm... um-..." I couldn't seem to say it out loud. It's a lot more difficult to tell your mom you're pregnant than I thought it would be.

"Are you okay Tay?" My mom asked, clearly noticing my struggle.

"Yeah I'm-... yes. I'm okay. Mom I'm... I'm pregnant." I said nervously. I know she loves me more then anything, and I trust her with my entire life, but this was still scary.

"You're pregnant?! That's so exciting sweetheart! How does Tom feel? Is he happy?" My mom seemed a lot more excited then I expected if I'm being honest.

"He's um-... well... he doesn't actually know. We broke up." I said nervously.

"Oh Tay I'm sorry... when are you going to tell him...?" She asked softly.

"That's the thing... he wasn't a very nice person. And he really wasn't very nice to me. He... he just- he did some things... I um-... I don't... I can't talk about it.. right now. But I'm gonna have this baby.. by myself." I said. Saying it out loud still shocked me. I couldn't believe that I'm really doing this.

"Wow Tay... I want to hear more about Tom... when you're ready of course. But that's... a really big decision. Having a baby by yourself.. I have no doubt that you'll be an amazing mom it's just-"

"I know. It's a lot of work. And with my job especially... I know it'll be hard. But I want to do this. I really want to. And... as terrified as I am... I'm also really excited." I said with a small smile.

"That good sweetheart. I'm proud of you." My mom said.

"Thank you mom... I should go I'm really tired. I'll talk tomorrow yeah?" I asked.

"Definitely. Let me know if you need anything at all. If you need me to be with you, I'm on the first flight to New York okay?"

"Thanks mom. I love you."

"I love you too Tay."

I hung up the phone and stared blankly at my phone screen for a minute, before making a decision that I might very easily regret.

I found Tom's contact and pressed 'call'.

I don't know what urged me to do this. But I felt I needed some sort of confirmation that we were really done.

After only one ring, he answered his phone.

"Taylor?" He asked, with an eagerness in his voice.

"Tom, I'm just calling to tell you I'm coming over tomorrow to grab my stuff from your place." I said, without even thinking. Was it really safe to go back there?

"Taylor I'm so glad you called I miss you so much... I want to be with you. I want to treat you the way you deserve to be treated and I want to start a life with you." Tom basically begged.

A small part of my heart still gravitated towards Tom for some reason. Even after everything he did to me, I couldn't help having feelings for him still.

"I can't Tom... you-"

"I know I fucked up Tay. I was just going through shit and I was taking it out on you. I'm sorry. I truly am. Can we just... can we talk about all this tomorrow?" Tom asked., clearly nervous for my answer.