Call It What You Want: Taylor Swift + Joe Alwyn

three

July 2016

I drove for almost 20 minutes before I worked up the courage to call the person I wanted to talk to. Joe.

Selena would've been my go to person for help at times like these, but she was in LA for a photoshoot. So that's how I ended up parked outside the apartment building of Joe Alwyn.

I took a deep breath and mentally prepared myself to walk inside. At least there was no one around, and since I didn't bring any security with me, that definitely made this ten times easier.

I eventually managed to press the call button next to Joe's name, after plenty of hesitation, and he answered after only a few rings.

"Hey Taylor what's up?"

I could tell he was smiling just by the way he said 'hello'. He was always smiling, I don't think I've ever had a conversation with him where he wasn't smiling.

"Hey Joe... are you home?" I spoke so quietly that even I could hear the nerves in my voice. I don't even know why I was nervous.

"Yeah, is everything all good? You sound a little tense."

I nodded, then realised he couldn't see me, and answered with a soft 'I'm okay'.

"Can I maybe come in? I completely understand if you're busy and I know I shouldn't have just showed up but-

"Of course you can come in Tay. Just come straight up."

"Okay, thank you."

I hung up the phone and made my way up to Joe's apartment. I had been here once before, when I walked him inside one night after a party Selena had. We were both extremely drunk that night, and i'm 90% sure we made out in this hallway, but I can't be certain.

Either way, I remember that being an amazing night, and I remember Joe being the nicest person I'd ever met.

I knocked on his door, expecting to have to wait at least a few seconds for him to answer, but I barely got to knock twice before his door was wide open.

"Taylor! Hi!" Joe smiled enthusiastically as he gestured for me to come inside.

"Hey Joe." I smiled back.

"Somethings wrong... are you okay?" Joe asked as he sat down on the couch.

How could this man already read me like a book? He saw me for three seconds and knew something was wrong. I'd never been asked once by Tom if I was okay, not once.

I made my way over to the couch and collapsed next to him, sighing as I placed my hand onto my head.

"I think I'm just being stupid... but I... I want your opinion."

"I'm sure you're not being stupid, what's going on?" Joe said, with a voice so comforting it sounded like a thousand hugs.

And his accent. His goddamn accent. And those dimples. I still don't understand how this man is single.

"It's just... Tom. I love him so much but... I don't know if he feels the same way about me. I mean he tells me he does... but he does some things that... kind of make me feel like he doesn't... I don't know, like I said I'm probably just being stupid and over dramatic. I'm sorry." I sighed a little bit as I looked away from Joe, not wanting to look him in the eyes after saying all that. It was embarrassing.

"Taylor look at me. You're not being stupid. What kind of things does he do that make you think he doesn't love you?" Joe questioned.

This is the part I really didn't want to talk about, but at the same time I really wanted Joe's opinion.