Call It What You Want: Taylor Swift + Joe Alwyn

eleven

September 3rd, 2016

I knocked on Joe's door and stood patiently until he opened it.

"Taylor you're back! How was it?" Joe asked as I stepped inside.

"It was.... good." I replied with a small smile. I went straight into the bedroom Joe had kindly offered me and started to grab my things.

"You hesitated."

"It was good. It just... made everything so real I guess." I said as I started to walk back toward the front door. I didn't exactly have much stuff here so there wasn't a lot to grab.

"So you're definitely having the baby? And you're definitely going back to your house?" Joe checked.

"I'm 100% sure I'm having this baby. And yes I'm going to my house. You're worrying too much Joe. I'm perfectly capable of living on my own." I said, moments before leaving Joe's apartment.

"I know you are..." There was an awkward silence where Joe stood and stared into my eyes. "Are you... um... gonna tell Tom?" Joe asked. 

I started to shake my head, "no... I'm not legally required too, so why should I? I can just.. have this baby by myself. How hard can it be right?" I smiled.

"Right..." Joe said softly.

"Thank you-... again, for everything. I should go. Thank you." I turned to walk away with my small bag of stuff that Joe had bought for me.

"Remember-" Joe started before I cut him off.

"I know. I can call you any time. Thank you." I smiled.

"Any time... or you can even just show up here. I don't mind at all." Joe said.

I gave Joe a small smile and thanked him for the thousandth time, "Bye Joe." I said, before finally actually leaving.

I heard the door shut behind me, and stepped into the elevator. I couldn't really believe I was going to my house, pregnant and alone, ready to have this baby by myself. A few days ago I could've never imagined myself in this situation, but here I am.

I got into the car and asked to be taken to my Cornelia Street apartment. Thankfully it wasn't far from Joe's apartment in New York, so if I did ever need him, he's very close.

———-

As I arrived, I thanked my driver and went straight inside. I forgot how much I love this apartment. Once I turned on all the lights it didn't feel so dark and cold anymore. It felt more like somewhere I could actually live.

It had been a while since I was last here. Tom wouldn't let me leave his place very often unless it was for work or to go to the gym, so I rarely got to come back here.

I went straight to my bedroom where most of my stuff still sat, although most of my favourite clothes were at Tom's house still, I had enough here to easily get by.

"What do you think of this place baby? Should I stay here in this apartment? I should probably pick somewhere to stay when you're born so you don't have to move around a lot. Maybe here... or maybe in Nashville where your grandparents are."

Grandparents... that felt weird to say. That also reminded me I have to tell my mom I'm pregnant. Who knows what she'll think... her daughter, single, very alone, and having a baby while the world hates her.

I couldn't help but think she'd be disappointed in me. She raised me so much better than this. I should definitely know better then to go get pregnant with some guy who treated me like shit.