Lonely hearts

4. shopping

The next morning I wake up to the sun shining in my eyes. I squeeze my eyes shut even further and turn over. I'm really sure I closed the curtains properly yesterday. Then I feel someone poke my side. "Get up." I open my eyes and see Chris and Nick standing in front of me. Confused, I rub my eyes to get used to the light. "What are you guys doing here?" "What did you do to Matt?" Perplexed, I look at them and shrug. "When he came home yesterday he went straight upstairs and he hasn't talked to any of us." "He's angry I guess." Now the boys are confused. "He told me to go do something fun with Amber, but I said I didn't want to." "Is that why he's angry?" "I might have yelled at him saying I don't want to be friends with her or pretend to be." Nick looks at me compassionately.

He's the only one I've told, that I have feelings for Matt - in the beginning, when I still thought it was fun and exciting. When Matt didn't have a girlfriend yet and I thought it could really work between us. Even Nick was convinced of it, but it turned out differently. When Matt told us he had a girlfriend Nick has really been there for me. Every night he came over to watch a movie. Chris also came along regularly, but just didn't know why. He is so clueless.

I come back to reality when Nick pulls me into his arms. Chris looks at it with a puzzled expression. "I don't get it. She's yelling at our brother and we're not mad?" Nick looks up at Chris and then back at me. I sigh and nod, to which Nick starts jumping up and down happily. "Sorry, do you know how hard it is to keep this to myself for so long?" A smile appears on my face. His enthusiasm reminds me of when I first told him.

*5 weeks ago*

Nick and I sit in his room, both on our phones. There is a comfortable silence. "Nick" He looks up from his phone. "Can I tell you something?" "Sure." "You just can't tell others. Not even Matt and Chris." He swallows and nods. "I'm gonna do my best." "No, I mean it." "Okay I get it, what's going on?" I take a breath and let it out all at once. "I think I like Matt." Surprised, he looks at me. "You mean, real feelings?" I nod cautiously and Nick's hand flies to his mouth. "Oh my god." Immediately he pulls me into a hug, then starts dancing enthusiastically around his room. I laugh at him before getting up to dance with him.

*End flashback*

"Olivia likes Matt." Chris's eyes get big. "Shit really?" "No we're joking." I roll my eyes. "Does he know?" "No and I'd like to keep it that way." "Let's do something fun today, the three of us." I nod gratefully. "If I could just change my clothes first. I point to my pajamas and the boys laugh. "Almost forgot." They both leave my room while I change.

*******************

We arrive at the mall, which is where we decided to go. I have a smile on my face. This is exactly what I need. "Are you coming to Maddi's party too?" "When?" "Tomorrow night." I think for a moment. I don't have anything else to do anyway. "Fine, are you sure she won't mind if I come?" "No, of course not. She said we could bring people." "I'll need new clothes then." " Luckily, we're at the mall."

We walk through the stores. I've already bought a new sweater and two new pants, but nothing really nice for the party yet. My eye catches a store I don't know at all, but looks very cozy. "Do you guys know that store?" Both boys look in the direction I point and shake their heads. "Shall we look?" Heavily I nod.

As soon as we walk into the store I notice that this is not really for me. The racks are filled with dresses and skirts. I have nothing against it, don't get me wrong. But I often just don't feel comfortable or beautiful in them. "We can get out of here now." "You can at least try something on right?" I nod, trying something on won't hurt. "I just don't know where I would start." The boys look at each other and grin. "Wait here, we'll find something." I sigh as I crash on the chair next to me. I see Nick and Chris walking away laughing and I already know this isn't gonna turn out well.

Not much later they come back and I find out I was right. They return with the most ridiculous clothes that I would never wear. They hand me the clothes and I sigh as I step into the fitting room.

Most of the clothes are truly ugly and don't look like me either. Honestly I don't think anyone could look good in this. "Okay I have 1 more dress." I pick it up and take a quick look at the item in my hands. This one is not ugly, but seems very short to me. I sigh as I put it on. When I look in the mirror I see that it is beautiful. The dress fits perfectly and for the first time ever I feel comfortable in a dress.

I step and out of the fitting room and see Nick and Chris' mouths fall open. Smiling, I spin around in front of them. "Olivia it looks beautiful on you,". "If you wear this dress tomorrow Matt will definitely look at you." I look at Chris and all the feelings I had momentarily forgotten come flooding back. Guiltily he looks back. "Sorry, I shouldn't have said that." I shake my head. "No, you're right. I'll buy it."