Lonely hearts

7. Amber

When I wake up the next morning I notice that Chris is no longer lying next to me. That's not surprising either, because when I look at the clock I find that it's already one o'clock. I sigh and get out of bed. Downstairs, everyone is already sitting on the couch. I walk to the kitchen, where I prepare a bowl of cereal for myself. "Hey Olivia." I'm startled by Matt's voice. "Hi" " Did you sleep well?" I shrug.

I know I slept poorly and I know exactly why. The thoughts of that one night keep going over and over in my head. And then I can't help but think of what would have happened if I hadn't pushed him away. I think back to Chris' question, " Do you regret it? I remember that I had shaken my head at the time, but somewhere deep inside I might be regretting it. Because what could have been if I hadn't pulled back? Maybe Matt and I would have been together, but maybe everything would have gotten weird. And he never would have wanted to see me again.

"Maybe you could meet up with Amber today." I watch him take a sip from his glas as I sigh. "Come on, you promised." "I'll text her okay?" He nods. "Thank you for trying."

Without responding I walk to the living room where I drop myself next to Chris on the couch. When I sigh he looks at me confused. "What is it?" "Matt wants me to do something with Amber today." "You know you don't have to if you don't want to right?" I shrug my shoulders after which I take another bite of my cereal. "I promised him." Chris sweetly wraps a shoulder around me while I pull my phone out of my pocket to text Amber.

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*later that day*

I stood in front of the café's large glass door and sighed deeply. My hands trembled slightly as I stroked a stray strand of hair behind my ear. This was the moment. I had promised Matt to do something with Amber to get to know her better. Why had I made that promise again? Oh yes, for Matt, anything for Matt.

Chris and Nick, had seen my pleading look when I asked them for help. But they had shrugged and said I really needed to please Matt. "You know how important this is to him," Nick had said while Chris nodded. They knew all about my feelings for Matt, but still they thought it was a good idea to send me on this mission.

With a deep sigh, I pushed open the door and stepped into the café. My eyes searched the room until I saw Amber sitting at a table by the window. With her long, blonde hair and perfectly made-up face, she looked like she had stepped straight out of a fashion magazine. I felt a stab of uncertainty, but I forced myself to walk over to the small table.

"Hey, Amber," I said with a forced smile.

Amber looked up from her phone and smiled back. "Olivia, there you are! Sit down." Her voice sounded friendly, but there was an undertone in it that I could not place. I took a seat opposite Amber and quickly ordered a cappuccino from the passing waitress.

We started with some superficial chatter about the weather and our studies. It all felt so awkward and forced. I wondered if Amber found this as annoying as I did. I took a sip of my cappuccino and looked at Amber, who was enthusiastically talking about a new fashion trend she had discovered.

"That sounds interesting," I lied, although I had no idea what Amber was talking about.

Amber didn't seem to notice and went on happily. I nodded occasionally, but my thoughts wandered to Matt, trying to imagine what he was doing now. Maybe he was recording a new video for their YouTube channel, or maybe he was just relaxing at home.

The conversation was interrupted by a sudden silence. I looked up and saw Amber looking at me sternly. "What do you actually think of Matt?" she asked suddenly, her eyes piercing into mine.

I swallowed. "Um, Matt is great. He's one of my best friends," I replied cautiously.

Amber smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. "Yeah, he's great, isn't he? I'm really happy with him." Something sounded in her voice that I didn't like. Something that made me doubt Amber's sincerity.

The rest of the conversation felt like a battle of attrition. I tried to open up and tell more about myself, but every time I brought up a topic, Amber turned the conversation back to herself or to Matt. It was frustrating and exhausting.

By the end of our meeting, I had had enough. I felt exhausted and angry. Angry at myself for having agreed to this and angry at Amber, who I thought was only interested in Matt because of his popularity on YouTube.

"Why are you using Matt anyway?" I suddenly blurted out, my eyes flickering with anger.

Amber looked at me, shocked. "What do you mean?"

"You're just using him for his fame, right? You don't care about him at all!" My voice trembled with emotion.

Amber's face tightened. "That's not true! How dare you say such a thing? You don't even know me!"

"No, but I know you enough to know you can't be trusted," I snapped at her.

Amber stood up abruptly and threw me a scathing look. "I think this conversation is over. You're just jealous because you don't get attention from Matt yourself." With those words, she turned and walked out of the café.

I was left behind, my heart pounding in my chest. What had I done? I had argued with Amber, Matt's girlfriend. This was definitely not going to turn out well. I put my head in my hands and sighed deeply. I knew I had done the right thing by voicing my suspicions, but now I had to face the consequences. And that was something I had absolutely no desire to do.