He keeps on fidgeting in his seat in the dressing room. "Calm down, I know it is your first time," his hairdresser told him.
Although the room is filled with different colors and styles of clothes, he chose the simplest blue-coloured suit he could find. The stylist was hesitant at first. This is his first official appearance on television, and he chose something bland and simple.
He could hear the loud applause coming from the other side of the room, and it is his signal that he is about to be called in a few minutes. He started regretting his choice in accepting the invitation. He had already thought of it multiple times; but when he told Ted about the offer, he did allow him to finally tell the world about his supposed secret role.
A few minutes after waiting in the dressing him, he was finally called in to the studio. The introduction of his name sent the studio into a joyous uproar. Ray was surprised by the audience's reaction, and did not expect to be welcomed as warmly. The host knew his way to command an audience, and his smile comforted Ray's uneasy nerves.
The studio has quite a lot of space. The crowd of people in the front is a sea of unfamiliar faces for Ray. The studio crew members are scattered all around the room, intently watching him and the host.
"The world knows that you are one of the executives for Vogue," he told Ray. "But we have heard that you are exploring this new field. Can you tell us what you have been up to lately?"
Ray has seen Emil multiple times. He had been in the studio's dressing room more times than he can remember, to be present for the interview of the public figures they had to work with for the magazine. Although he is quite exposed to fame and public life, he has never been invited to speak in a televised interview since the beginning of his career.
The sound of the crowd earlier overwhelmed him. They sounded like sharp noises piercing his ears, although expected them.
"Aside from the job that I have loved for so many years at Vogue," He looked at the audience. "I have also been working as a detective to help solve crimes, and it has been an awesome ride." Although lately, he has not been having the best time working for the team, he knows not to let Ted down. Ted told him he would be watching the interview.
"That must be tough, at least. How do you find the time to balance these two challenging roles?"
He suddenly remembered Olga. Her words came rushing back to him, and his thoughts start to get hazy. He felt the lights on him, and recomposed his thoughts.
"It has not been easy, totally," he honestly admitted. What his plan is is to not be direct, but he cannot be completely dishonest either. "I have had some minor issues about how I manage my time, but nothing too serious," he said.
The audience seemed to accept his answer. The host had memories to share about himself. "You know, Ray," he started. "I was just like you before. But perhaps, we have different reasons. You come from a capable family."
Ray did not know what to answer to that, so he just tried to think of a way to maneuver the topic and shift it. "I guess you could say that, but it's not black and white, I suppose. Vogue has been my home for almost all of my professional life. I have been with them through thick and thin, but somehow, my work as a detective added something to my life," he said.
For the rest of the interview, their conversation jumped from one topic to another. He was asked about his family, and he felt a huge weight lifted on his shoulder when he was not asked about his brother. He has thought of a way to dodge questions relating to how his brother is, and although this guilts him, he knew he did not deserve to feel shame for something he had no control on.
Towards the end of his guesting, the questions became more and more personal, but he had a way to redirect every uncomfortable question he was asked. Although this was his first televised interview, he had been interviewed a lot of times since the beginning of his career and he has learned to steer the conversation for it to be according to his favor.
Laura was waiting for him in the dressing room. She was not there before, and it was surprise.
"You did so well," she said. "Those were some tough questions to answer, don't you think so?"
"Answering them was not the issue. Seeing the audience looking at me almost caused me a panic attack, though."
When Ray was a child, he experienced a series of mini-panic attacks, but when he turned ten, he stopped experiencing them. Ryan has them, too, but in his brother's case, it has continued into his adulthood.
Outside of the venue, they had agreed to eat together for lunch. The rain started pouring. The sounds of the raindrops on the pavement joined with the sounds of the cars on the street. In spite of all the noise, Ray is still able to hear the call coming from his phone.
"You have not been replying to her texts." He recognized that voice. It is the same voice that he used to hear every week when he was a young child.
"Martha, I'm not talking to her on purpose," he said. "I'm pretty sure she knows that."
Martha did not like what he said, and she has always been straight forward to him. "Your mother needs help. She has been in pain constantly, you are her only family. Don't you feel guilty ignoring her all the time? She took care of you, too."
"She stopped being my family when she left with another man."
He could hear Martha sighing on the other end of the line. "Your mother's condition is getting worse. She has been throwing up, and her headaches are getting constant. I am afraid it is something serious."
"She has other friends than you. I'm sure some will be willing to help. What did the doctor say?" He's trying to avoid saying things that would make it seem like he has concern for her, but he can't help but ask.
"They are running the tests. Something's wrong with her kidney, I think. I was not there with her."
"Who came with her?"
A few seconds of silence is heard from Martha's end. "She was alone."
"Oh," was all he could say.
As a child, he would frequently see other people come into their house as visitors. His mother is a friendly woman. Martha has been one of her best friends for over a decade.
"She needs you," Martha insisted. "She's still your mother, Ray."
He does not know how Martha got his number, but he had a hunch. He is quite elusive with his private information, so that when something personal about him leaks, he would know who did it.
"She doesn't need me. I don't care if you don't help her, or if no one does. Leave her on her own, she's old enough to take care of herself."
He is about the hang up until he could still hear Martha going on. "No, she needs you, specifically. Her oldest son. You," she emphasized the last word, and Ray felt its weight. Suddenly, he started feeling guilty, but he quickly shook the feelings off.
Martha has hung up, and Ray is on the side of the road thinking about what just happened. He looked to the side, and realized Laura is gone. His phone notified him a text of her sent just now: Hi. Seems like you were busy. I just got home.
He felt as if a cold bucket of water was poured over his head. Laura. He had been so distracted that he forgot she was there. They were supposed to eat together. She looked at the text message over and over again; he tried to analyze her tone, and whether it displayed anger.
She tried to call Laura but she would not answer. He tried for one last time, and still, she did not pick up. In the train ride home, he was left with his own thoughts. Is she mad at him? Why would she not answer his calls? He knows her address. Should he go to her house and apologize? He would ask himself over and over again, although he is uncertain of the answers to each of the questions.
