There was no answer. Lars knocked again. "Steven, I just want to know that you're okay?" Lars said standing with his ear to the door. Once again, no answer. "Steven I'm coming in" he declared and pushed open the door. Steven was laid on his bed curled up, sobbing. Lars walked over and sat beside him. "Hey...its okay. I'm here with you. What's wrong?" He put his hand on Steven's shoulder.
'I just... I can't take it anymore Lars! These stupid panic attacks! Everyone acting like they care when why should they! All I do is cause problems!" Steven cried with his head buried in his arms.
"Steven, I so understand how awful panic attacks are. But the gems and your dad really do care! They love you Steven, they just want you to be happy, and I do too. You've just gotta tell us how we can help you to be happy." Lars said while rubbing his back gently.
Steven sat up, wiping some tears off his face. "You can't. No one understands and I dont want them to understand. I just want to be left alone for a bit. But at the same time I don't want to be left alone. I'm so stupid!" Steven said almost whispering, facing away from Lars.
"Steven... do you want me to stay here with you tonight? I'm more than happy to if it'll help." asked Lars.
"I...yes. please." Said Steven.
"Then I will. Where should I sleep?" Lars asked, looking around the room.
"Um... are you okay sharing a bed with me?" Steven blushed, he just wanted to feel comforted and maybe not so... alone.
"Of course, Steven. Thats not a problem." Lars smiled down towards him. "I think I should quickly go tell the gems and your dad that you're okay. They were pretty worried about you, you know."
"Ugh...okay. I'm sorry..." Steven said looking down at his feet.
"You've got nothing to be sorry for Steven. I'll be right back." Lars smiled at him.
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After Lars left the room Steven felt...itchy. on his arms. He scratched at his wrists and looked towards his drawer containing his...'equipment'. He sighed, pulling down his sleeves and looking at his cuts.
"I guess a couple more won't hurt if I'm quick... I deserve it after all..." he thought to himself as he removed the blade from its hiding place.
YOU ARE READING
Change
FanfictionSteven so desperately wanted change for himself but now that he's finally getting it he finds he can't cope. Set after SU Future except Steven had planned to go college with Connie instead of travelling the states. T/W Self-harm
