Change

Chapter 5

When he woke up he was slightly disorientated, forgetting for a brief second that he'd returned home. 'Oh yeah.' He thought as he sat up, rubbing his eyes. 'Huh?' He looked at his arm and the pinprick marks going up it. 'Shit, forgot about that too.' He realised he could heal it if he wanted to, but there was something he liked about them being there. He threw on his jacket and took a deep breath in as he mentally prepared himself for going downstairs and starting the day. 

Upon reaching the bottom step he was startled to see his dad sitting with the gems having a chat. He gulped and tried to sneak back upstairs but he already had been seen.

"Steven! I was so worried!" Came Greg's voice. Steven slowly turned around to face his dad.

"Oh, h-hey, dad. Haha yeah no, uh, I'm completely fine! Just realised I'm better off here is all! Nothing to worry about!" He gave a big fake smile to everyone.

"Steven...I don't believe that for a second. I think you need to start having sessions with your therapist again." Greg said looking very concerned, the gems looking equally so.

"Dad I swear I'm fine!" He said, still trying to convince them with a fake front. He hated it when people felt concerned and worried towards him. It made him feel...weak.

"That's exactly what you said last time! Look where that got us!"

"I SAID I'M FINE!" He shouted, shocking everyone in the room. He felt his hands start to sweat and his heart was fluttering and had sped up. He needed to get out of here now.

"Steven please just listen to us, we only want to help-" Pearl said, getting cut off.

"Please, no I don't need help, I'm fine really, just leave me alone!" He ran back upstairs, leaving everyone downstairs speechless.

He slammed his door shut and rummaged through his drawer until he found what he needed. 'I know this is wrong but I need it, it helps me!' He rolled his sleeve up and stabbed the pin into his arm a few times.

Bu he wanted something...more?

A thought came to him.

He went into a different drawer and found his pencil case, removing a sharpener from it. He carefully undone the screw, removing the blade. 'This is so, so wrong Steven. Are you sure this is right? No, its fine, it will help me feel better.' He swiped the blade across the skin of his wrist, blood slowly oozing out. He did it a few more times. When he did this he wasn't thinking about how he was feeling or how he'd made other people feel or any dumb things he did. He just concentrated solely on the pain and blood.

He snapped back to to reality and looked at the mess he'd made. 'Shit Steven, why have we got ourselves into something so stupid?!' He cleaned up his wrist and wiped the blade, tucking it safely into his drawer. He laid back on his bed and looked at the ceiling. He sighed. He should probably go down there and apologise. He didn't mean to shout at them or get mad. He made his way back downstairs.

"Uh, hey."

"Uh, Steven? Are you okay?" Greg asked.

"I-I'm fine dad. Really. I'm sorry I got mad. I'm just a bit stressed. I didn't mean to take it out on all of you. Steven looked down at the floor. 

"It's okay, we're all here for you. We didn't mean to add to your stress. We just want what's best for you." Greg smiled as Steven made his way over to them.

"I know." Steven smiled back, giving his dad a hug.

"Steven, a-are you bleeding?!"

Steven's heart jumped into his throat and he quickly pulled away from his dad, seeing the speck of fresh blood on the sleeve of his jacket. "Oh, what, no, I just uh, bit my lip when I was upstairs and wiped it with my sleeve is all, haha." He hoped that was convincing enough.

"Well be more careful next time!"

He breathed a sigh of relief. 'Steven, what have you got yourself into?!'