Change

Chapter 4

Pearl, Garnet and Amethyst sat on the sofa listening as Steven explained why he'd left college and returned to Beach City. He didn't mention his small freak outs as he didn't want them to worry. Once he was done they all gave each other slightly concerned looks and then turned back to Steven.

"Steven...we're very happy to see you and we've missed you so very much, but is this really the best decision? Can't you give it another go?" Pearl asked him.

"You...you don't want me here..." Steven said quietly, taking a few steps back.

"No no no! That's not what I'm saying at all! I'm just worried you'll regret this in a few weeks and get upset with yourself. You made a very rash decision Steven, I'm not sure you've thought this through properly..." Pearl tried to explain her thoughts.

"You're wrong. It's the right thing to do, I know it." Steven insisted, crossing his arms. "Of course I've thought it through! I thought about it for hours! I don't fit in over there, I belong here!"

"Steven, what does Connie think of this? She was really happy at the thought of you both being at college." Garnet asked.

"I...I haven't told her yet..."

"WHAT?! But she's still there, does she even know where you are?!" Amethyst loudly said as she jumped up from the sofa.

"I've...I've left my phone on mute for the last day...I just wasn't ready to tell her, I didn't even know what to say. I don't want to upset her." Steven worriedly said as he thought about how Connie must be feeling. He didn't have the guts to even look at the messages she'd sent right now.

"Steven, you've got to tell her, she'll be worried sick!" Pearl shouted. Just as she said that the phone rang. They all looked at each other. Pearl walked over to the phone and picked it up. "Hello?" she answered. A worried look crossed her face. She put her hand over the phone and mouthed "It's Connie" to everyone. Steven put his hands on his head and started pacing the room.

"Steven, you've got to tell her." Garnet whispered to him. Steven took a deep breath and walked over to the phone. He was shaking slightly as he took it from Pearl's hands. 

"H-hey Connie..." He stuttered.

"STEVEN! What the hell? Why are you back in Beach City, are you okay?! What happened, I've been so worried-"

"I'm okay, I'm okay. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I-I just didn't know how. I kinda um, freaked out a bit and I had to come home. I'm really sorry Connie I just didn't want to upset you." Tears started forming in Steven's eyes.

"Steven...It's okay. I wish you would have told me though. I've been really worried, you have no idea! Your dad is worried too-"

"My DAD?! You told him I was missing?" Steven crumpled to the floor and put a hand up to his face. He really didn't need that right now.

"I'm sorry Steven, I just wanted to see if he had heard from you. You should call him. I'll talk to you later, okay?"

"...Okay."

"I'm really glad you're okay Steven. Bye!"

He was not okay. He was the furthest thing from okay right now. He put the phone down on the floor next to him and sighed as he put his head in hands.

"Are...are you okay Steven?" Amethyst quietly asked as she peered over to where he was sitting.

He suddenly found himself unable to get a full breath of air and he felt dizzy. He quickly stood up.

"I-I'm going to my room!" He said sounding panicked. He ran up the stairs and they heard a door slam. They all looked at each other feeling very concerned.

Steven was walking back and forth in his room panicking trying to catch his breath. 'Why, why does this happen? I hate this, I don't want to deal with this anymor-ow!' He looked down. He'd stepped on a pin which had now embedded itself in his foot. 'Darn!' He thought as he sat on his bed and pulled it out. He looked at it for a second, and then it clicked. 'Hey...when that pin pricked me, that feeling stopped. It completely distracted me from it!' The panicked feeling started to come back. 'No no no, I need to distract myself!' He looked at the pin and poked it in his arm. It worked. He did it again and again and again until he had tiny dots going all the way up his arm. He suddenly realised what he had done and dropped the pin. 'Oh shit, this isn't good Steven!' He shoved the pin in a drawer and curled up on his bed. Now that the feeling was gone he got a wave of tiredness and slowly drifted off to sleep.